I’m quoted today in “Of Tigers, Guilt and Beehive Mothers,” an LDS/Mormon response to the WSJ’s “Tiger mother” article on a Jewish website. Multicultural FTW!
When I was a freshman in college, one of our reading assignments was an essay by a woman diagnosed with Lupus. I took great offense at her thesis, which I remember as being something about God creating the good and the bad parts of everything.
I think what she meant to say was that because we live in a “fallen” world, we will always experience only a taste of the ultimate perfection, tempered with the tang of the poison. A little heavy, maybe, but ultimately the point.
In motherhood, we often get to experience these things side-by-side, the extremes of heaven and hell in a single day. I’ve come across several tales of this twinning lately, the manic depressive nature of the challenges of motherhood.
One minute, we’re on top of the world, juggling a passel of kids and our home and our hobbies and skills AND loving every second. (It’s so easy to love when you’re on top of it!) The next, suddenly all of those things are the burdens piled on our back.
I do this most days, when I go from cuddling a sleeping angel to refereeing the bickering ones. Or I plan and prepare three really fun activities that go really well—but spend ten minutes of extra prep snapping at my kids to back off until I’m ready.
And I know I’m not alone. Janelle at Regally Blonde recently posted about a single day where she had one of those sublime, blissful moments—and hours later, she’s wallowing in Poopageddon. My friend Shannon posted about this today, outlining the highs and lows so typical of motherhood, and how sometimes, dancing as fast as we can, we can bridge that gap.
I guess the point is just to keep dancing: keep trying to bridge the gap, striving for those sublime moments, reveling when they come—and holding onto them through Poopageddon.
How do you balance the extremes of motherhood? How do you keep those slices of heaven in mind when passing through the valley of the shadow of poop?
12 replies on “A little of both”
Thanks for the link!
I’m still dancing, but it gets harder and harder to do it gracefully with all the toys on the ground….
LOL, well put!
poopageddon, valley of the shadow of poop… LOL! I am not good at this. Just Sunday night I was reflecting on how frustrated I was with Gwen on the way out the door to church, contrasted with how sublimely content I was to have her quietly playing in sacrament meeting leaning against me in the pew. I really admire Eric’s ability, actually, to be temperate and never have those extremes of frustration or stress. He just excels at letting things go rather than getting worked up about them. I excel at getting frustrated or stressed while in the valley of the shadow of poop— and then feeling awful about it afterwards. I want to be more calm and composed, less prone to being overwhelmed by temporary situations. I think maybe I’ll be that kind of woman eventually… but it might be a looooooooong time before I arrive. 🙂
Ryan can be the same way (though we’re both a little sleep deprived lately). I just get frustrated about his patience, too, LOL!
I think it’s really one of those struggles of mortality: one of the big reasons why we’re here, to gain perspective and control our imperfect bodies and emotions.
So we have our whole lives to get it right (and at this rate, it’ll take all that and then some for me!).
Love the Poopageddon reference. There are definitely highs and lows to motherhood and they come and go so fast (usually). I’m hoping for a few more highs in my future. 🙂
Hey!
I recognize that beautiful little girl from last year’s Christmas card! I was actually just putting the Christmas cards away last night when I took some time to study who Rachel looks like. At first glance, I thought she looked like Hayden at his age — but then I kept seeing hints of Rebecca.
I hope you all are doing well! Give them each an extra hug today from me!
@Shannon—It does change so quickly. It feels like the bad time last forever, but if we can hang onto the memory of the good times, hopefully that will help us through the bad. (Easier said than done!)
@Erin—Thanks! That’s from the same photo session, obviously. I can see both of them in her (Hayden’s sometimes easier with the chin dimple). Sure hope my genes come out at some point (something cooler than teething late and walking early).
Poopegeddon. Love.It. I am currently eyeball deep in strep throat and head lice with a side order of horrifically cold weather. So I too am dancing frantically (thus “Franticmommy”). I take comfort that this too shall pass. Last night I laid by both my kids and watched them sleep. Getting breathed on by little fruit snack breaths and snuggling up to their warm footie jammies makes all the crap go away 🙂
You are famous! I am so proud. I liked your post and your quote.
There is no way I’m ever going to forget the phrase “when passing through the valley of the shadow of poop.”
I am pathologically easygoing and find almost everything funny, including my own misfortune (most of the time). I think that’s my coping mechanism. That, and those sublime moments, which really do come along regularly. And also chocolate. Dark, smooth chocolate.
“Vally in the shawdow of poop”…..and church sang AhhhMaaann! 🙂 yes mommy hood has its twists and turns but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I just love this post.
LOL, I guess I can tell what the most memorable phrase from this post is 😉 .