I think we mothers could do better at honoring motherhood ourselves if we had just a little help from the people around us—you know, mostly the ones that we spend the better part of our lives cooking, cleaning and caring for.
Holding our own calling in high regard is next to impossible when we feel like everything we do goes by unnoticed. And, honestly, the people that we work the hardest to serve may never appreciate what we do for them—no, not even if we make our sweet spouses watch the children all week long.
For some reason, this week, Hayden has stopped saying “Daychew” (Thank you) and replaced it with “Daychew, Mommy.” My husband can be really great at noticing and getting a lot of the small things. But usually we mothers have to settle for much smaller or more indirect forms of gratitude.
I think that there are two aspects to feeling this direct appreciation, which we may only get on Mother’s Day. They are: seeing that our families value what we do and seeing a demonstration of their appreciation for this.
I know on the surface, these look like the same thing—but they’re not. It’s not easy, but you can certainly have one without the other: a friend or family member who recognizes that being a mother is important, but never seems to understand why you’re not available at the drop of a hat or just not the same as you were before. Another who praises your mothering skills but derides your choices (to stay home, to breastfeed, to work—you name it).
For us to feel appreciated, I think we need to be able to see that the people who are most important in our lives—the ones that we are nurturing every day—understand that this is an important work, but a lot of work. They see that we have made sacrifices to have children and lead our lives this way.
They see our love in the things that we do for them—and they show their love and appreciation in the things that they say and do for us.
And you know what, husbands, children and family members? You don’t have to do that just once a year.
What do you think—how can our friends and families show us that they appreciate what we do for them? (Or, if it’s an easier question: what do you want for Mother’s Day—and every other day of the year?)
5 replies on “Appreciating motherhood”
I’d like to be asked what I want for mother’s day. That’s a start right there. Reading your post, and the “invisible mom” one before, I’m panicking that my daughter is just getting into the “mine” state. It’s already taking a toll on the “us”!
Our kids, they simply show us, by loving us. They show us in those teachable moments when the light bulb goes on and they realize you too, were once in Kindergarten and faced some of the same challenges which suddenly makes you the smartest person in the world. I don’t know about you, but it was not until I had my son, that I realized how much I appreciate my own mother.
We can even take the initiative to create our own family version of “mom appreciation day.” Just talk about the rules and set the stage. It could be kind of fun. 🙂
I like that first comment, it would be nice if someone asked what I wanted for Mother’s Day. That would be a bit of treat. Granted, I’ll never pass up a school made card or artistic bit of creatively drawn I love you Mommy. I just think that would be neat too.
Although I think it’s hard for people to show other people they appreciate them. I’m not sure why. Maybe because we’re so busy running around we never take the time too.
My husband asked me what I’d like for Mother’s day. I never know what to tell him. I’m afraid to tell him what I really want, because I hate spending money (especially on myself) and because I don’t know if I’d ever stop talking.
But the standby response (a box of chocolates) is still appreciated 😉 .
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you wonderful Mothers out there! We have the toughest job in the world, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything 🙂