Category: Fulfillment

Motherhood shouldn’t just be a drudgery. Find fulfillment in your most important calling–mother.

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Fulfillment Kids/Parenting

Slipping away

My sister had a baby one week ago today! This is pretty special for me, too: this is the first time any of my sisters has ever had a baby. My first niece or nephew on my side of the family. The first grandbaby for my parents that wasn’t provided by me. Welcome to the world, Preslee! I wish I could be there to snuggle you up, too!

Hayden was a week old when I first felt the time slipping away. Suddenly we weren’t counting his age in days anymore. He hadn’t changed a whole lot since birth (I suppose he was a little more aware and awake, maybe), and yet somehow that change in words made him infinitely older. It presaged the change to months, then years. It was the first time I was losing my baby.

(I had been very sick all week; maybe I was a little melodramatic 😉 . But, then, maybe I do this for every child. New mommy hormones?)

Time does seem to slip away from us mothers faster than we can even grasp at it. My baby—my third baby—is one. My sister is a mother. Time marches on and life goes with it.

I want to try not to mourn the recent past instead of enjoying the present. If I obsess over what’s passed, I’ll miss what’s going on now. I have a hard time remembering what Hayden was like at Rebecca’s age or Rachel’s age, but luckily we have photos and videos and blog entries to remind us of that time in our life.

In the mean time, let’s enjoy the present while we have it. (Blah blah blah it’sagiftgagme.)

What are you doing to enjoy the present?

Photo by Kat

Categories
Kids/Parenting Fulfillment

100 101 Things to be Grateful For!

Thursday (the second half of the post):
6. At least a little good news for my very pregnant sister, Brooke—even if it’s not her baby yet. (Hurry up, baby!)
7. A sweet sister from church who loaned me her jacket—it was FREEZING for June!!
8. On that note, aside from one hot spell + visitors in April, we haven’t turned on our A/C yet this year.
9. Being brave and calling a stranger (service provider) for an appointment.
10. I’m going to the BEACH! (Just check out my Pinterest: clearly I’m inspired by this, even though it’s quite some time away.)

Friday

  1. New plants in the garden! Yeah, I had to buy them, but, hey—tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers to go along with our peas!
  2. All the materials I need (hopefully) for two crafts now in my possession.
  3. Getting started on one of those crafts—working hard (tune in to Wayward Girls Crafts Monday for the big reveal!)
  4. Blogging with my sisters—it’s so fun to work with them and see what they’re up to!
  5. Having Jaime on our “promotion team.” (Maybe you should switch careers to social media, Jai 😉
  6. Getting stuff done, even when I have two kids with me.
  7. Dinner at a Japanese steakhouse! Fun! I even caught a shrimp in my mouth! (Much luckier than the other lady at the table, who caught it with her glasses.
  8. Reasonably well-behaved kids during said dinner (even though we forgot to bring anything for Rachel to eat!
  9. $20 off said dinner—Ryan’s always scouring City Deals.
  10. Being done with this dang project!
  11. A friend who did it with me!

All right, to be honest, I kind of came to hate doing this. Like my friend Elisa said, it seemed to put on a lot of pressure to post daily, something which neither of us do—it became an obligation. It did take some stretching to think of things I hadn’t mentioned before.

However, it was nice to take a few minutes at the end of the day (or a day or two later) and think about all the good parts of the day—the things that I enjoyed most about the day and the things the adorable things that all my kids had done. Plus it’s helped filling in Rachel’s baby calendar (if I had a grateful list for today this would be on there: I have a list of everything I need to add to Rachel’s last month of her calendar! Now if only I could find one of the two special markers I’ve bought to write in there…)

But once when I’d really had enough during bedtime, I went in my room and tried to think of the gratefuls for the day. I think that’s a pretty good take away, don’t you?

What are you grateful for? Not taking on the challenge?

My 100 101!

  1. Rain—don’t have to water the garden! (Borrowed from my friend Elisa, who’s also participating!)
  2. My garden (okay, my sugar snap peas) is growing.
  3. Ryan just cut both yards and they look very neat.
  4. Hayden’s drawings—today he drew me an awesome cow 😀 .
  5. Getting things done with the rest of the Executive Committee of my writers’ group.
  6. Chopped!
  7. Chatting with my sister, which I missed today.
  8. Contact lenses and glasses.
  9. Already having my pineapple CUPside-down CAKES, done and posted on Wayward Girls’ Crafts for this week!
  10. Sleeping in! (relatively)
  11. Naps, even if in theory only.
  12. Rachel kicking with delight!
  13. Checking things off my to do list (like this post!).
  14. Putting the kids to bed early-ish.
  15. That Rebecca’s hair will grow. (See last picture.)
  16. Potty training! (And being done!)
  17. Finishing off the cookies we made last night—no more temptation.
  18. Left overs and Ryan reheating them.
  19. Tuna salad sandwiches with celery, making me think of my mom.
  20. Hayden including his sisters in playing with his blocks. And his blogs. But more about that next week.
  21. I actually do like Rebecca’s bangs. Love, even!
  22. Rachel getting more and more courageous at walking.
  23. Hayden riding bikes with the neighbor boys. (Can I tell you how cute I think this is?!)
  24. Neighbors we trust (and love).
  25. The DVR (sad but true).
  26. Forgiving myself/not pushing myself (all the way) into burnout.
  27. Hayden’s creative buildings with blocks.
  28. Cool new software available free for my site.
  29. Not having to go grocery shopping.
  30. Getting everyone out of pajamas, away from screens, and spending time together.
  31. A new “smile chart” for encouraging good behaviors, mostly for Hayden
  32. Yoga when I just don’t feel like aerobics.
  33. WEBSITE BACKUPS!!! (Nothing to do with #8 above.)
  34. Tech support at Bluehost.
  35. Rebecca’s favorite movie and her imagination play with Monsters Inc.
  36. Not having to clip Rebecca’s hair back.
  37. Online “chatting” with “old” friends 😉 and jokes about “punctuation” 😉
  38. Writing something totally fun!
  39. An editing job I really feel good about!
  40. Sending something to critique partners.
  41. Aunt Jasmine!
  42. Fun times with friends
  43. Homemade pizza (made by my friend)
  44. Our friend who takes Hayden out for fun
  45. Homemade cookies (made by Hayden and ^ friend)
  46. Rachel’s excitedly tackling her daddy
  47. Rachel’s favorite (only?) word: HeyDAH! (Hayden; Hi, Dad; Hi there; Here it is)
  48. For the first time in 43 months, I am neither pregnant nor nursing!
  49. Ryan doesn’t work on Fridays
  50. My aerobics show
  51. Our freedoms.
  52. Those who have sacrificed (and are now sacrificing) to preserve those freedoms.
  53. A day off!
  54. Rachel going from hands and feet to just feet without support.
  55. Craft store sales.
  56. Ambitious art projects (I’m so NOT that, but I’m ready to try now!)
  57. More exciting (and delicious) projects coming up for Wayward Girls’ Crafts
  58. One (and only one) fun find at garage sales/thrift stores over the weekend.
  59. Lining up the first teacher for the first class for my writer’s group!
  60. Ryan putting Rachel to bed.
  61. Finally, May-worthy weather!
  62. Time at the park (even if we all got a little sunburned)
  63. Takeout for dinner
  64. Lining up more teachers for my writers group
  65. Homemade doughnuts
  66. Going to bed early! Seriously couldn’t keep my eyes open after 10:30 last night.
  67. Rebecca’s imaginary toys at the park (which she told her daddy all about at dinner)
  68. New friends for Hayden at the park.
  69. Rachel said “Hi, Dada” three times this morning!
  70. Man—just a great day!
  71. Ryan taking my frustrations
  72. Rachel’s first ride in a car shopping cart.
  73. A place to run off to
  74. A fairly good grocery shopping trip
  75. A good day at eating
  76. Cleaning up, even if it needs more work done!
  77. A baby who wakes up happy.
  78. Getting up early. (And it’s a rare day when I can say that—either that I’ve done it or that I’m grateful.)
  79. Finishing the smile chart: Hayden did earn the helmet and the bell. Still have to tally up Rebecca’s.
  80. A baby who eats well. Usually.
  81. Growing kids!
  82. Hand-me-downs from cousins.
  83. Finding new clothes I forgot the kids had.
  84. A night out with the ladies from church
  85. Chocolate chips. In moderation.
  86. At least a little good news for my very pregnant sister, Brooke—even if it’s not her baby yet. (Hurry up, baby!)
  87. A sweet sister from church who loaned me her jacket—it was FREEZING for June!!
  88. On that note, aside from one hot spell + visitors in April, we haven’t turned on our A/C yet this year.
  89. Being brave and calling a stranger (service provider) for an appointment.
  90. I’m going to the BEACH! (Just check out my Pinterest: clearly I’m inspired by this, even though it’s quite some time away.)
  91. New plants in the garden! Yeah, I had to buy them, but, hey—tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers to go along with our peas!
  92. All the materials I need (hopefully) for two crafts now in my possession.
  93. Getting started on one of those crafts—working hard (tune in to Wayward Girls Crafts Monday for the big reveal!)
  94. Blogging with my sisters—it’s so fun to work with them and see what they’re up to!
  95. Having Jaime on our “promotion team.” (Maybe you should switch careers to social media, Jai 😉
  96. Getting stuff done, even when I have two kids with me.
  97. Dinner at a Japanese steakhouse! Fun! I even caught a shrimp in my mouth! (Much luckier than the other lady at the table, who caught it with her glasses.
  98. Reasonably well-behaved kids during said dinner (even though we forgot to bring anything for Rachel to eat!
  99. $20 off said dinner—Ryan’s always scouring City Deals.
  100. Being done with this dang project!
  101. A friend who did it with me!
Categories
Kids/Parenting Fulfillment

It will never be enough (+ 20 gratefuls)

Apparently in my head, there’s this imaginary quota for the amount of work, frustration or time I can spend on any activity, especially ones related to motherhood. After that point, I feel like I’m entitled to give up. I’ve done enough, I’ve given enough, and it’s time for a break.

While it’s definitely wise to recognize our limits, sometimes we need to recognize what isn’t really a limit. My “enough-o-meter” is pretty sensitive—and Ryan walking through the door lowers the threshold even more. Just because I don’t have to put up with something or do something, does that mean it’s okay to shunt it off on someone else, or slough off entirely?

This is motherhood. It’s a calling, not an activity or a hobby or even a job. It’s part of who I am. And even then, it’s more than that—it’s having these three little people completely dependent on me. Having given them a lot already today is good, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need me now.

They’re children. They haven’t learned to regulate their wants yet, and I have to set boundaries for this all the time. But most of the time, my arbitrary limit is just that—arbitrary. Set totally by me, independent of important variables like how much patience and time and enthusiasm I could muster if I tried.

I don’t have to love every second of motherhood, and of course I won’t. And of course there will be times when I’m legitimately overwhelmed and can’t—and shouldn’t—push myself any further before I take some time to recharge. But when it comes to my children, how can I possibly say they’ve gotten “enough” of my time, attention and love—enough of me?

Photo by Bake it Pretty

The Gratefuls!

Wednesday:

  1. Ryan taking my frustrations
  2. Rachel’s first ride in a car (see right)
  3. A place to run off to
  4. A fairly good grocery shopping trip
  5. A good day at eating
  6. Cleaning up, even if it needs more work done!
  7. A baby who wakes up happy.
  8. Getting up early. (And it’s a rare day when I can say that—either that I’ve done it or that I’m grateful.)
  9. Finishing the smile chart: Hayden did earn the helmet and the bell. Still have to tally up Rebecca’s.
  10. A baby who eats well. Usually.

Thursday:

  1. Growing kids!
  2. Hand-me-downs from cousins.
  3. Finding new clothes I forgot the kids had.
  4. A night out with the ladies from church
  5. Chocolate chips. In moderation.

The rest to come tomorrow!

Categories
Kids/Parenting Fulfillment

Crazy Hayden sayings + 20 gratefuls

Every so often, I’ll hear one of the kids say something hilarious or adorable while I’m sitting at the computer, and straight away I open up a new post to write down those cute things. Here are some recent things Hayden has said:

“Mom, Rachel just smells like some weird vampire. Those guys are funky!”

“If you break this fourf wall . . .”

Hayden was playing with a truck and announced that it sold “Chocolate fondues!” Rebecca asked “I haf a chockit fonnu?”

Hayden pulled up a picture of Disney princesses on the Internet and called for Rebecca to come over to see “your favorite blog!”

I mentioned last week that Hayden rode bikes with the neighbors. Back and forth on the sidewalk. It’s cute how much they loved it. (It’s also been cold and rainy, so they haven’t had many chances to do this). Over the weekend, I walked Hayden and his bike across the street to play with the little girl his age over there. She got her scooter out and again, they rode back and forth on the sidewalk till we had to go in.

He needs a helmet and really likes his friend’s bell, so I started him on an incentive chart. He can get up to 4 smileys a day in each category: no whining/fits, be nice to sisters, obey quickly, and extra/misc. He’s just about got enough to earn his helmet (horrible that I made him earn his own vital safety equipment, I know—we did have one, but he’s outgrown it). Next on the list to earn: the bell!

He’s very excited about kindergarten in the fall. He’s working hard on his letters. We’re learning letter combinations now, including ck, sh, st and more—so Hayden has actually read his first words this month! (It was see, in case you’re wondering.) I’m so proud! He drew a cow (when we were learning “ow”):

I’m also proud of this adorable picture he drew of Rachel’s lovey, a caterpillar named Cally (both shown here).

He loves to create awesome buildings out of his block sets and cardboard boxes. We’re regularly impressed by the symmetry and balance of his creations. Here’s one of his buildings: the sign on the awning was dictated to me and our friend Brianna. It reads, “Hayden’s Toy Story 3 [it’s a movie theater, but he and Rebecca insist they’re showing Cars 2 on both screens]. Hayden’s Bookstore. Everything is $18. Hayden’s Fanciest Candy Store and Also Necklace Store.”

The gratefuls! Monday:

  1. Our freedoms.
  2. Those who have sacrificed (and are now sacrificing) to preserve those freedoms.
  3. A day off!
  4. Rachel going from hands and feet to just feet without support.
  5. Craft store sales.
  6. Ambitious art projects (I’m so NOT that, but I’m ready to try now!)
  7. More exciting (and delicious) projects coming up for Wayward Girls’ Crafts
  8. One (and only one) fun find at garage sales/thrift stores over the weekend.
  9. Lining up the first teacher for the first class for my writer’s group!
  10. Ryan putting Rachel to bed.

Today:

  1. Finally, May-worthy weather!
  2. Time at the park (even if we all got a little sunburned)
  3. Takeout for dinner
  4. Lining up more teachers for my writers group
  5. Homemade doughnuts
  6. Going to bed early! Seriously couldn’t keep my eyes open after 10:30 last night.
  7. Rebecca’s imaginary toys at the park (which she told her daddy all about at dinner)
  8. New friends for Hayden at the park.
  9. Rachel said “Hi, Dada” three times this morning!
  10. Man—just a great day!
Categories
MetaBlogging Fulfillment

Back up your website!! (and thirty gratefuls!)

skip to the gratefuls

Last night, I had something else to check on my site, and I decided it was about time I upgraded my blog software to the latest version. It’s only a few clicks in the management software of my site, and in about five minutes, it was all ready. I pulled up my site to make sure everything had made the transition okay.

And it welcomed me to my new WordPress blog.

Um, what?? This isn’t new. It’s nearly five years old. And when I visited the blog, it was a fresh, blank WordPress site.

Almost five years of posts, memories, pictures, ponderings—gone. I was a little distraught.

Miraculously, my web host keeps backups. I called their 24/7 tech support and in less than an hour from the initial implosion, the site was completely functional again. If you saw a “Hello World” post from me this morning, that’s why—and that’s why it’s not here now. Thank heavens! And Bluehost!

(I’ll be doing updates manually from now on. 😀 )

How can you avoid this panic? Back up your website regularly!

How to backup a WordPress blog

In WordPress, scroll down to Tools on the left-side menu. Select Backup.

The default information WordPress backs up is listed in the left column. If you have more information for plugins and their settings, you can select those from the list in the right column:

Scroll down to see the options: you can have it save the file to your server if you’re on your own host, download it to your computer, or send it to an email account you specify.

But! You can also set it up to automatically email a backup to you regularly:

Remember to check that email address! I have mine set up to mark it as read automatically. But because these files can be pretty big, you might want to delete older ones.

How to backup a Blogger blog

Blogger makes it easy to back up a blog.

To back up the content (posts, etc.), see Clarissa Draper’s instructions here. Four easy steps! (Summary: Settings > Basic > Export blog — Download blog — Save file. See Clarissa’s post for step-by-step with pictures.)

To back up the design and layout, see the (also) four (easy!) step instructions in Rachael Harrie’s post. (Summary: Design > Edit HTML — Download full template — Save file. Again, see Rachael’s post for step-by-step with pictures.)

And catching up on gratitude:
Wednesday:

  1. I actually do like Rebecca’s bangs. Love, even!
  2. Rachel getting more and more courageous at walking.
  3. Hayden riding bikes with the neighbor boys. (Can I tell you how cute I think this is?!)
  4. Neighbors we trust (and love).
  5. The DVR (sad but true).
  6. Forgiving myself/not pushing myself (all the way) into burnout.
  7. Hayden’s creative buildings with blocks.
  8. Cool new software available free for my site.
  9. Not having to go grocery shopping.
  10. Getting everyone out of pajamas, away from screens, and spending time together.

Thursday:

  1. A new “smile chart” for encouraging good behaviors, mostly for Hayden
  2. Yoga when I just don’t feel like aerobics.
  3. WEBSITE BACKUPS!!! (Nothing to do with #8 above.)
  4. Tech support at Bluehost.
  5. Rebecca’s favorite movie and her imagination play with Monsters Inc.
  6. Not having to clip Rebecca’s hair back.
  7. Online “chatting” with “old” friends 😉 and jokes about “punctuation” 😉
  8. Writing something totally fun!
  9. An editing job I really feel good about!
  10. Sending something to critique partners.

And today:

  1. Aunt Jasmine!
  2. Fun times with friends
  3. Homemade pizza (made by my friend)
  4. Our friend who takes Hayden out for fun
  5. Homemade cookies (made by Hayden and ^ friend)
  6. Rachel’s excitedly tackling her daddy
  7. Rachel’s favorite (only?) word: HeyDAH! (Hayden; Hi, Dad; Hi there; Here it is)
  8. For the first time in 43 months, I am neither pregnant nor nursing!
  9. Ryan doesn’t work on Fridays
  10. My aerobics show

What are you grateful for today?

Categories
Kids/Parenting Fulfillment

Catching up with Rebecca/Suwwy (and her robots) + 20 gratefuls

And my first twenty things to be grateful for:
Yesterday:

  1. Rain—don’t have to water the garden! (Borrowed from my friend Elisa, who’s also participating!)
  2. My garden (okay, my sugar snap peas) is growing.
  3. Ryan just cut both yards and they look very neat.
  4. Hayden’s drawings—today he drew me an awesome cow 😀 .
  5. Getting things done with the rest of the Executive Committee of my writers’ group.
  6. Chopped!
  7. Chatting with my sister, which I missed today.
  8. Contact lenses and glasses.
  9. Already having my pineapple CUPside-down CAKES, done and posted on Wayward Girls’ Crafts for this week!
  10. Sleeping in! (relatively)

And today’s:

  1. Naps, even if in theory only.
  2. Rachel kicking with delight!
  3. Checking things off my to do list (like this post!).
  4. Putting the kids to bed early-ish.
  5. That Rebecca’s hair will grow. (See last picture.)
  6. Potty training! (And being done!)
  7. Finishing off the cookies we made last night—no more temptation.
  8. Left overs and Ryan reheating them.
  9. Tuna salad sandwiches with celery, making me think of my mom.
  10. Hayden including his sisters in playing with his blocks. And his blogs. But more about that next week.

One day—it was a Friday, but that doesn’t matter—there was a little girl—and that does matter—learning to use the potty. And as she sat on the potty, she perched her fingers on her knees, with her pointer fingers out.

“Dees are my wobots,” she informed us. So these are Rebecca’s Robots:

(Her hands. Also note the plate of shredded cheese, which is pretty much all the child will eat for dinner.)

Her robots talk and help her do all kinds of things (being her hands). They love their mommy robots (my hands) especially.

Some cute things Rebecca has said lately:

  • Teese neveh wive in cups! Teese wive in bowws! (Cheese never lives in cups! Cheese lives in bowls!)
  • Wohwa’kates: roller skates
  • Yeh weww: yeah, well (at the beginning of a sentence)
  • Beebee: I’m not even sure what the exact translation of this would be (baby?), but it’s something she says a lot when she’s playing with Pinky, her stuffed animal. It’s either what she called Pinky, or what Pinky calls her. Or maybe both.

And some more:

Another favorite game is MontahINK! (Monsters, Inc.) Rebecca is Suwwy (Sully) and Pinky is either Boo or Mike ‘Akow’ki. I’m usually whatever Pinky isn’t, though sometimes Rachel gets that honor. Hayden has played Mike and Wannaw (Randall). Once I was even Wannanoos (Mr. Waternoose).

Her hair, obviously, spends a lot of time in her face, so today I did this (she cried, but she’s come to accept it):

I’m not really thrilled with how I did, but cutting my kids’ hair too short is something I’m good at.

What do you think? What are you grateful for? Isn’t Rebecca pretty much the best little girl in the world?