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Kids/Parenting

Rachel’s birth

After the concerns throughout my pregnancy, I did finally concede and agree to be induced the morning of June 7th—but I still held out hope that my baby would decide to come more than two days early, and save us from having to be hooked up to an IV, stuck in the hospital (and possibly even a hospital bed) for the whole labor.

Contractions woke me up at 4:45 on the morning of June 5. My mother had flown in the night before and thanks to flight delays and road construction, we didn’t get back from the airport until 12:30 AM. But Rachel decided to give me the first night of not-nearly-enough sleep that day. I tried to relax using some of the techniques from my Hypnobabies course.

Finally, I was tired of laying in bed, not sleeping. I woke Ryan up at 6:45 to tell him, “It’s baby’s birthday.” Because my contractions (“pressure waves,” as we say in Hypnobabies) intensified if I moved around a whole lot, Ryan helped to gather the last toiletries for my hospital bag and brought my birthing ball from the other room. I spent the morning in our room, sitting or laying on the birthing ball and reading or listening to HypnoBabies scripts—I even dozed off for a couple naps.

They say that for non-first-time-moms, you should head to the hospital when the contractions are 5-6 minutes apart and about 1 minute long. I hit that benchmark around 10, but didn’t feel like it was time to go to the hospital yet. Plus, I would have a set of 3-4 contractions, then stop for a little while. I worried they’d put me on drugs to try to regulate my contractions at the hospital, the same concern I had with Rebecca’s birth—and the reason why I waited until I was an 8 (90 minutes before delivery) before I was admitted.

In the early afternoon, things started to pick up. I still didn’t have a clockwork “schedule” of contractions, but I started to have clusters of contractions—several in a row, with peaks and valleys, but without letting up, for up to five to ten minutes. Again, just like with Rebecca’s birth.

I started to panic and knew I had to get to the hospital, sure I wouldn’t be able to make it without pain meds this time. Ryan tried to help me calm down, but it was hard not to panic in minute eight of a contraction! The car ride and walking about two million miles to the L&D admitting desk was not fun. As we slowly made our way down the hall, the nurse that met us asked if this was my first.

Thanks a lot. I thought I was doing well here.

They got me into a room and had me change into a gown. And then I proceeded to FREAK. OUT. I insisted that I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t have this baby naturally, I couldn’t keep it up. Ryan got me to lay down and calm down—and I instantly felt much better. I wasn’t comfortable by any stretch, but I wasn’t in the intense pain of just seconds before. It’s what Hypnobabies calls the fear-tension-pain cycle to a T. I was afraid, I tensed up, and it just made the pain worse.

So I laid down and the nurse came to check me: 9cm and my water broke (so there, nurse in the hallway). And I was ready to turn down an epidural, too. We started a script on my MP3 player and I was pretty set.

Good thing—my OB arrived in about 15 minutes and I was at 10cm. He pulled on a gown over his street clothes and said we’d push when I was ready. Which took maybe five minutes. A nurse and my OB commented at different points on how “controlled” I was (what they didn’t know…). About three minutes of pushing later, Rachel was born!

Rachel is one month old today! And tomorrow is our first day three-on-one. I mean all on our own, without any Nanas around for help.

Oh boy.

Blogging will probably continue to be spotty for a while, but one day we’ll find our new normal.

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Kids/Parenting

Pregnancy #3

I didn’t realize people would find this interesting, but a few of you requested my pregnancy story for Rachel. So here it is.

I was sick before I realized I was pregnant. It was a convenient form of morning sickness—sweets were repulsive. Veggies and fruits were all I could eat. (Got over that pretty quickly, though.) And if I ate, the morning sickness obeyed and I felt okay.

I found out I was pregnant the week of my mother’s birthday. I decided to save the surprise for that day, Saturday. I called my parents’ house, but no one answered. I called my mom’s cell phone. No answer. I figured my dad was out, so I called my youngest sister, who still lived at home. She didn’t answer, but my next youngest sister texted me back.

Dad’s in the hospital. He passed out this morning. We’re waiting to hear what’s wrong.

It took most of the day to find out what had happened and that my dad was mostly okay (he made a full recovery and is fine now). I finally tracked down a phone number for his room and called him. I was planning to tell my mother first, but she wasn’t there, so I told my dad. I called my mom at home next and told her, then my sisters. We needed the good news that day.

It was just the beginning of hospital visits for this pregnancy.

Rachel on 21 April 2010, with some glare

Since my last OB passed away a year before this, I changed doctors. At my first visit, they performed an ultrasound—the baby wasn’t due in mid-May as I’d calculated: the baby was due June 9. It should be illegal to prolong a pregnancy three weeks, especially in the midst of morning sickness!

two of my sisters came into town from out of state to surprise me for my birthdayMy new doctor didn’t have a blood lab on site, so I had to go to the hospital for the routine blood tests, including the quad screen. I visited my parents for Christmas. While I was there, I got a call from my doctor. We played a few rounds of phone tag, and the nurses said the doctor wanted to talk to me himself.

Which, of course, means something is wrong.

And it was and it wasn’t. The baby had an elevated risk of Down syndrome. It was a week before I came home and visited with the doctor. I spent that week trying not to worry (because worrying wouldn’t change anything, right?) It turned out that “elevated risk” meant a 1 in 132 chance. Less than one percent. And this test is notorious for false positives.

But we went to the appointment with the perinatologist (at the hospital. Again.) anyway. They didn’t see any signs of Down syndrome in the baby, but they discovered something else—instead of the normal three blood vessels in the umbilical cord, the baby only had two blood vessels.

Then, of course, they laid out all the risks and had to act as if the worst was happening. A two-vessel cord (single umbilical artery or SUA) is correlated with chromosomal defects. Down syndrome is a chromosomal defect. Therefore, we couldn’t rule out Down syndrome without amniocentisis. (Big needle, big fun.) (We opted not to do the amnio, especially after our research found no correlation between SUA and Down syndrome specifically.)

Additionally, SUA can lead to intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR. Lots of letters!), where the baby can’t grow well in the womb. My doctor said that if the baby went three weeks without growing, we would deliver the baby as early as 33 weeks. Induced labor, c-sections and premature babies are my three biggest fears for pregnancies, so this is exactly what I wanted to hear. Not.

me with two of my sisters again. not the same two.So every three to four weeks, I got to haul two kids to the hospital, through admitting, to the radiology office. Wait. Entertain kids. (Okay, to be fair, helpful neighbors did watch them for three of the visits, so I only had to take them half the time. And Ryan came to every ultrasound, so I wasn’t alone.) We’d decided to let the baby’s gender be a surprise—but monthly ultrasounds make that a little more challenging than normal. And then in the last month of pregnancy, I had weekly nonstress tests and amniotic fluid indices (measuring the fluid in the womb via ultrasound), to make sure the baby was okay. I had up to three doctor/hospital appointments a week at the end. Hooray.

Rachel passed every exam, chose not to be an exhibitionist, and ended up being my largest baby to date. I can’t wait to see the insurance charges. (And neither can the hospital, apparently. After waiting five months to bill us for the quad screen that started all this trouble, they’re now claiming that our insurance isn’t paying on charges made six weeks ago and we have to pay it all. Yeah, right. But in addition to the health concerns, we had so much trouble with a new insurance company that it stresses me out thinking about it still.)

Next time: labor and delivery!

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Kids/Parenting

What did you do this weekend?

Here’s what I did:


Okay, so maybe I started before the weekend…

Rachel Diana

 
5 June
6 lbs 9 oz


Everyone’s doing fine!

(And no, you didn’t miss anything—Rachel had us pretty concerned during my pregnancy, so I didn’t mention it here.)

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Kids/Parenting

Me do! Me do!

Rebecca is growing faster every day. She’s well into the stage of toddler independence, with her cry of “Me? Me? ME!” when we try to do things for her.

But like all children this age, she has moments where that confidence falters, where she still wants to be the little baby that she still is. (“Becca,” she would correct me if she knew I’m calling her a baby.)

Nothing exemplifies this better than her cries of “keh me!” So I made a handy graphic to illustrate this:

What are your favorite “baby steps” toward independence?

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Kids/Parenting Fulfillment

Brats on a plane

The movie may be slightly less compelling than the serpentine version, but this is my personal nightmare. Literally.

A couple weeks ago, I had a dream about traveling through an airport. I think I was pregnant, but I didn’t have Hayden and Rebecca with me. (Ryan was with me.) As we walked through the airport, for no apparent reason, I stuck my foot out maybe two inches to try to trip a little boy, about 7 years old.

The boy didn’t trip—but boy, did he notice. Even though he’d been walking in the opposite direction, he started to follow us. (Hello, parents?) He was yelling and trying to attack me. I managed to push him away before we reached our plane.

Our plane was HUGE. For some reason, we ended up in a back section of leather bank seats. They were pretty much awesome. You know you’re traveling in style when you get the whole can of Sprite 😉 .

Until the little boy found me. He proceeded to verbally attack to me, mess with my straw while I was trying to drink, poke me, prod me, and kick me.

I tried to push him away, I tried to look for his parents, I tried to tell Ryan or the flight attendant—but no one else could see how the child was harassing me. I was trapped—can’t exactly get off a plane midflight—and under attack and invisible.

I woke up in a sweat.

And the first thing I wondered was, Is that an allegory for how I feel about my life?

And right now, as I sit here with Hayden in the throes of a 20-minute (so far) tantrum (at least he’s in his room), no end in sight, knowing that I can hardly handle what I already have on my plate, and wanting to add so much more for my own sake, knowing the only things that can give way right now are the only things keeping me sane, knowing that my family is thousands of miles away and that simply will not change any time soon (except for the quick visit coming up this week—and despite my work all last week, the house is still half-wrecked), knowing that my friends and neighbors around me are already overloaded, and knowing that by just admitting how I feel, people will judge me less and tell me I’ve obviously made the wrong life choices . . . yes. Sometimes, it is.

What do you do when you feel trapped?

Photo by Jack

Categories
Kids/Parenting

Video update

Hayden’s more taken with taking pictures than being in them for the most part, so his latest video is things that he thought were worthy of filming:

And Rebecca’s is her three newest words

(They’re Becca, Pinky and milk.)