Tips, tricks and adventures in parenting two kids.
Over the last few weeks, a lot of people have commented on how much Hayden looks like his daddy—people that we see on a weekly basis who say that he looks more and more like Ryan all the time.
Maybe I’m just too used to the both of them, but I don’t really see it.
What do you think?
The other day, Hayden and I were driving to the grocery store. I turned on the radio to the oldies station—right at the very beginning of “We Will Rock You.” We reached the grocery store before the song was over, so naturally we had to sit in the car and finish “We Are the Champions.” Then a day or two later, it was “Eye of the Tiger.” And on the way home, “Mony, Mony.”
Aside from all the important, responsible things I need to make sure Hayden learns, now I realize I have all these silly incidental things that I have to teach him so he can attend sporting events, follow conversations, spontaneously burst into song and otherwise become a productive adult (or at least fit in with my family).
So, what songs do you think fit on this list? So far, I’ve come up with:
What else?
Sunday’s For Better or For Worse comic strip pretty aptly describes parenthood. I’ve mentioned the “time-space continuum” that is motherhood before, but after a discussion earlier this week I was thinking about it again.
There is something at every age that we want our children to grow out of. Right now, I’d like Hayden to grow out of throwing fits and not communicating verbally (although he has a plethora of new words over the weekend: bubble, baby, Jesus (‘Dedus’)).
But somehow it seems like the memory of all those things fade almost as soon as they’re past. Sometimes when I complain to my mother about the typical foibles of his age, my mother tells me that it’s all a very distant memory for her (my youngest sister will turn 16 this week).
Ever since he was born, I’ve been in “hurry up and grow up” mode. Get past the lump stage; start reacting to me; start sleeping through the night already; start crawling; REALLY, start sleeping through the night; start walking; stop nursing; start talking. I’m always ready for him to move on to the next milestone.
And then you think about the good things of this age, and you remember to treat each moment a little more preciously:
I could go on for a long time (who couldn’t go on and on about their own child?!), but even just listing those five is making me feel better!
The title of the post comes from a song that I’ve referenced before. It’s a lullaby that my mother sang to us when we were little and we sing it at each of the sisters’ weddings:
Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine,
I’ll taste your strawberries; I’ll drink your sweet wine.
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
Ere I forget all the joy that is mine
Today.
Today I can appreciate the best things about this age.
Hayden likes to sit on the couch. Especially if I’m there. It’s still a tiny bit too high for him to climb up on his own, so I help him. I can actually just stick my foot out and he can climb on that. So I help him climb up—on my foot, my hand, a step stool, whatever.
He climbs and climbs like he’s scaling Everest. When he finally gets himself situated on the couch, I exult, “You did it!”
Did he do it? Mostly. I helped a little. I realized once that it’s how life is. Our parents get us started. They point us in the right direction, train us up in the way that we should go, instill values in us. And boy, is it ever a big responsibility.
But in the end, it will be mostly our own efforts that count. Our parents can try all our lives to teach us right from wrong, but we have to choose to act on those teachings. And boy, is that ever a big responsibility!
One time, a few months ago, after I helped him up, he turned around, sat down and then lean forward and demanded, “Mmm! Mmmm!”
He wanted a kiss.
I’ll take whatever thank you I can get for today’s boost.
Saturday I gave Hayden’s first haircut. It’s a good thing he’s too young to be embarrassed by its quality!
Before 
During
After
Don’t worry, I saw that one long piece of bangs on his right and went back and got it—all too well, I’m afraid!
(Just to be perfectly clear: in July, I trimmed the hair above his ears and his bangs. I call this his first “trim,” and Saturday his first “haircut.” I saved some hair from both. I’m crazy like that.)
Is it possible for children to be empathetic at nineteen months?
Of course, the question requires a little explanation. (Okay, so maybe it doesn’t require it, but you all want to hear the story, right?)
I’ve mentioned that Hayden’s favorite show is Yo Gabba Gabba!, yes? So naturally, I’ve been taping episodes just in case the virulent people dominating the discussion at Nick Jr.’s Yo Gabba Gabba! message board succeed in taking the show off the air and forever scaring my child.
And, since Yo Gabba Gabba! is the only show he watches, we rewind the tape and watch the show at least three times a day. By now, we’ve watched the “Sleep” episode a total of six times (it also happens to be the first one that we ever watched).
The first three times we watched it without incident. But the last three times, one song in particular really seemed to disturb Hayden. It begins with Muno (“he’s tall and happy”; the red cyclops) tossing and turning. He can’t seem to fall asleep, and is feeling sad and lonely—and whimpering appropriately.
The rocks in Muno land come to life and sing a song with him, telling him to “Think happy thoughts, happy thoughts / That’s what you gotta do. / Think happy thoughts, happy thoughts / and a smile’ll come back to you.” But before that can happen and reassure his friend, Hayden was in tears—full out crying. He calmed down a bit when I (and the second time, Ryan) came to sit with him and sing the happy thoughts song. (The third time I think was influenced by his fever 🙁 .)
So what do you think? Could Hayden be feeling empathy at nineteen months or was it just a really sad song?
Of course, there are many things that Hayden does that are totally normal for a nineteen month old. Like
love hot dogs and ketchup,
wear mama’s shoes, and
ham for the camera
(a lot).