It will never be enough (+ 20 gratefuls)

Apparently in my head, there’s this imaginary quota for the amount of work, frustration or time I can spend on any activity, especially ones related to motherhood. After that point, I feel like I’m entitled to give up. I’ve done enough, I’ve given enough, and it’s time for a break.

While it’s definitely wise to recognize our limits, sometimes we need to recognize what isn’t really a limit. My “enough-o-meter” is pretty sensitive—and Ryan walking through the door lowers the threshold even more. Just because I don’t have to put up with something or do something, does that mean it’s okay to shunt it off on someone else, or slough off entirely?

This is motherhood. It’s a calling, not an activity or a hobby or even a job. It’s part of who I am. And even then, it’s more than that—it’s having these three little people completely dependent on me. Having given them a lot already today is good, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need me now.

They’re children. They haven’t learned to regulate their wants yet, and I have to set boundaries for this all the time. But most of the time, my arbitrary limit is just that—arbitrary. Set totally by me, independent of important variables like how much patience and time and enthusiasm I could muster if I tried.

I don’t have to love every second of motherhood, and of course I won’t. And of course there will be times when I’m legitimately overwhelmed and can’t—and shouldn’t—push myself any further before I take some time to recharge. But when it comes to my children, how can I possibly say they’ve gotten “enough” of my time, attention and love—enough of me?

Photo by Bake it Pretty

The Gratefuls!

Wednesday:

1. Ryan taking my frustrations
2. Rachel’s first ride in a car (see right)
3. A place to run off to
4. A fairly good grocery shopping trip
5. A good day at eating
6. Cleaning up, even if it needs more work done!
7. A baby who wakes up happy.
8. Getting up early. (And it’s a rare day when I can say that—either that I’ve done it or that I’m grateful.)
9. Finishing the smile chart: Hayden did earn the helmet and the bell. Still have to tally up Rebecca’s.
10. A baby who eats well. Usually.

Thursday:

1. Growing kids!
2. Hand-me-downs from cousins.
3. Finding new clothes I forgot the kids had.
4. A night out with the ladies from church
5. Chocolate chips. In moderation.

The rest to come tomorrow!