A couple weeks ago, I read a book that I just thought was fabulous (so did Jane of Seagull Fountain, which is where I heard about it). It was one of those books where the characters really seemed to come alive.
Sarah, the protagonist, becomes a mother fairly early on in the book. Although this isn’t a major theme in the book, she struggles with motherhood at first, starting with a very difficult labor, and continuing with a hard adjustment to motherhood, for her and for her marriage. In her journal, Sarah writes:
I wonder if every new mother feels as if there is nothing left of herself. Every minute of my day and every last thing I do is tied to this little someone else.
—Nancy E. Turner, These is my Words, p 120
That was very much how I felt when I first became a mother. It was supposed to be all joy and roses, but it seemed to be all baby, all work, all the time.
Now, though, I’m beginning to get a little distance from that work. Hayden is pretty independent—he can open the fridge by himself now. He seems to be turning more and more into a small person (instead of a baby or a toddler) every time I look at him.
Rebecca is eleven months old now, and, as I’ve said a number of times in the last couple days, her cuteness quotient has leapt to near-lethal levels. I’m able to have time to myself, play with the kids, and (due very largely to the support and efforts of my husband), the house hasn’t fallen down around my ears.
Every minute of my day and every last thing I do isn’t tied to them (though still many if not most of my minutes and most of the things I do, especially during their waking hours). I’ve gotten to the point where I can get some, if not all, of “my” own, personal stuff done—and I think it’s done wonders for my sense of fulfillment and accomplishment overall.
What do you think? Is being able to do something by yourself, for yourself vital to fulfillment?
(By the way, has anyone read the sequels to These is my Words? Are they as good as the first (or at least worth reading 😉 )?)
8 replies on “Every minute of my day”
I didn’t know there were sequels. I loved “These is my words.” I’ll have to try the sequels.
on my ‘to read’ list. You’ll have to tell me what you think of the sequels.
I have managed to take “me” time since Gwen was newborn, and I know it helps. For the first 7 months my biggest indulgence was going back to bed during her first nap. That was “me” time times 10 because it WASN’T something I would normally allow myself, but absolutely required to be happy (on less sleep, being a mom is ridiculously hard for me!).
I loved that book too! I read it for book club and only one other person finished and it was so hard not to talk about the ending! I havent read the sequels though…
Look how cute she is and look at all that hair! You know she didn’t get that from you…Can’t wait to see her in only TWO weeks!
@Stephanie—I’m afraid to taint my experience with TIMW with the sequels, you know, if they’re not as good. I’m waiting for someone I know to read them first, LOL. I should probably just check out GoodReads.
@Elisa—I hear you. Never can get enough sleep. I hate taking naps (feels like a waste of time, which I know you understand, plus they make me grumpy), but during the newborn phase it’s totally a necessary evil.
@Brooke—Why does everyone have to point out how bald I was? Once we read a book in my book club with a twist ending and you couldn’t talk about the book without discussing that, so we had to tell the people who hadn’t finished the ending.
This is Jasmine
Who’s holding Becca? Kinda looks like Kelly
no more like Lindsay
It’s Lindsay. I meant to code that into the page. Oh, now I remember why I didn’t—I got sidetracked in making sure I spelled it right. (My other friends and relatives are Lyndsay, Lindsey, Lindsey, so I try not to mess up their spellings!)
My fault for going to Facebook to check the spelling.
I’m glad you liked it. I thought the struggle with motherhood was a major theme of the book, though. She talks later, when she’s watching the new territorial university being built, about how she would like to be more educated, and she comes to some conclusion about how motherhood is like a tree, and it shades and grows and the roots and leaves and everything make it so that learning can be a part of her life, that she can learn just as well, maybe different things, as a mother.
(of course, being a mother, I might have read a lot more significance into all of her musings on motherhood.)