I like to fill up my to-do list every day. Lately, I’ve been trying to keep the tasks manageable, and assigning time periods (this will take 15 minutes during quiet time; I’ll do this for an hour after the kids go to bed). Sticking to the plan can be a challenge, of course, but even just making the plan can help me focus and be more “productive.”
Yesterday, about 45 minutes into quiet time, I came back to the computer after the third time Hayden had called me back to his room for something. I hadn’t yet begun on my to do list (1 MamaBlogga post, 2 posts for my writing blog series on tension and suspense, finishing the book I’m reading), and I was ready to get down to business—but the second I sat down there was a knock at the door.
Sighing, I got up from my chair. I vowed that if this person was a salesman or a neighbor I could talk to later, I’d either not answer or extricate myself as quickly as possible.
But it wasn’t—it was my aunt and two of my cousins. They were in town for the day (they live 4 hours away, and I don’t get to see them nearly as often as I should). Of course I let them in. I could let a couple things go until tonight, right?
And then I decided to be flexible. I don’t see them that often (though they’ll be back in a few weeks), and neither does Hayden. I went and got Hayden from his room. He was so excited to see them that he talked constantly for the next hour. After all, they had to go shopping and head home; it wouldn’t be that long of a visit, and I could probably finish most of those things after they left or after bedtime.
Then I decided to be really flexible—nothing on my list had to be done today. We joined my aunt on her first excursion to Ikea (about 30 minutes away). Hayden got to play in the play place while we shopped, and a grand time was had by all (and we even found some useful stuff! I thought I’d be waiting months to get lingonberry jam to try a new recipe).
Sometimes I (and I think most of use) get so caught up in all that we want to do—with our days, with our week, with our lives—that it’s easy to overlook the opportunities to spend time together—to be a mom or a family. Yesterday I decided I wouldn’t do that. Yeah, I didn’t “achieve” anything, but sometimes it’s more important to connect than to accomplish.
Moms learn quickly that we have to be flexible—but sometimes, even within that flexibility, it’s easy to get very rigid. Structure is a fantastic thing—it helps us all know what to expect and can help us be happier together. But sometimes, we have to look beyond structure and bend a little further than we’re used to to find something even better. If we don’t bend every once in a while, something may come along that will push us too far—and then we’ll break.
What do you think? How has being flexible helped you be happier as a person and a mother?
Photo by dancer Dallagio
4 replies on “Flexibility: bend before you break, Mama”
I loved your quote: “sometimes it is more important to connect than accomplish”. so true. good reminder to be people oriented rather than task oriented.
I absolutely have days where I just scribble out the day on the top of my to-do list and put the next day’s on it. It certainly doesn’t end the world. 🙂
@Elisa—Thanks!
@Shan—Exactly what I’m doing today. 😀
Being flexible is important, I would agree.
I parent a child with anxiety so I’m learning that structure and rules are super important to minimize the unexpected yet at the same time, there needs to be a certain amount of flexibility within that structure. It’s a tricky balance – one I’m still trying to maintain.
Connecting is paramount – accomplishing will come in time.
We look forward to the summer holidays when we can throw caution to the wind and spend all day in the sunshine!!! I’m counting down already.
As for the ‘to do list’…….perhaps I should start one of those…ha ha.