Thanksgiving was “early” this year (November 22 is the earliest that the US holiday can be celebrated, in fact!). So this week, we get an extra long transition from the season of gratitude to the season of greed giving. A couple months ago, we talked about how others can show you (mothers) appreciation for what you do as a mother.
I think there is a distinction, albeit a fine one, between showing a mother than you appreciate her and what she does for her family and showing her that you value what she does. Naturally, if you truly value what a mother does, you should at least try to show that appreciation.
But sincere appreciation comes from actually valuing her efforts. It’s the thought that counts, right? I mean for this discussion to center less on acts of thanks, and more about the thought behind them—showing an attitude that mothers matter.
So, how can you and I and everyone around us 1.) develop the attitude that mothers matter and 2.) show it?
For the first part: does the world need to be convinced that mothers matter? Yes and no. We all understand that mothers are important. But on the other hand, mothers today feel a lot of pressure not to focus on “just being a mom,” as if “just being a mom” were a lowly, demeaning chore that is beneath any woman of learning or status.
While we may not be able to change the world today, I think it’s important that mothers themselves (and especially SAHMs) be the first to adopt and display the attitude that motherhood is a noble and important (even vital!) calling.
So how can we show we feel that way? Aside from being a real mother to our children, I think that one place to start is to stop putting the word “just” in your job description. You’re not “just a mom.” One of my favorite books on motherhood talks about this, and its title proudly proclaims I Am a Mother.
How do you think other mothers and nonmothers develop and show an attitude that mothers matter?
2 replies on “How can I show a mother that I value what she does?”
I think also using a tone of voice that isn’t apologizing for being a mother. Instead saying you’re a mother with conviction will help others take you more seriously.
Or we can all wear shirts saying “I’m a mother and proud of it” or something lol.
I think that’s a GREAT point about not using “just.” And I’m so glad you brought up this topic to think about. My head has sort of been swirling with thoughts around it. One, being a new mom I appreciate and value the role of mother as I never have before (to where I want to go apologize to anyone I ever even THOUGHT the phrase “just a mother” about). Two, I find that when people ask about my life I still talk first about my career and then about my family, and yet at the end of it, every time, I feel like it just didn’t come out right. Hmmmm. I’ll be curious to see what others say on this.
By the way, totally off topic, but if you have a moment, check out http://www.generouspour.com, a partnership project I’ve been involved with between Clos du Bois and Share Our Strength, working towards ending childhood hunger in America. There are recipes, entertaining tips and music playlists, along with a full on “party kit” with downloadable invitations, menu templates, recipe cards, votive covers and even donation cards in case you’re moved to turn your feast into a charitable fundraiser to benefit Share Our Strength.
And . . . when you download a holiday song–either an exclusive remix of Like a Star by Corinne Bailey Rae or another featured song–on the site, Clos du Bois will donate $1 to Share Our Strength.
Hope you enjoy!