So the nap transition hasn’t gone well since that first day. Wednesday, Hayden was sick, and spent six hours sleeping during the day and went to bed early—but that much sleep meant he wouldn’t go to bed until after 11 PM Thursday night, and you can forget about a nap.
Tuesday, Thursday and Wednesday, Hayden was much less enthused about sitting in his bed looking at books. It was less like “quiet time” and more like “scream at mom for two hours.” For some strange reason, this is incredibly stressful for me(twenty-eight exclamation points and several ones). The whole point is for me to have a break (lie: the whole point is for me to work, which makes this even more stressful), and I’m just not getting it.
I’m 32 weeks pregnant, and I really don’t think my blood pressure can handle much more of this. I can hardly do this now; I don’t know how I’ll make it with a new baby and next-to-no sleep (let alone time for myself).
9 replies on “Quiet time?”
I’m so sorry, Jordan.. I really feel for you and it’s got to be hard to be in your position. I can pass on a few things that have worked for me through email, if you’d like.
Thanks so much! I’d definitely appreciate the email advice.
Thankfully, today has shaped up much better: much more like Monday.
I definitely feel your pain. We have only been doing quiet time with Little Man for a little over a month now, but just so you know, it does get better. You definitely have to train them, but it has been worth the investment because I am 33 weeks pregnant and I need this alone time every afternoon!
Some days are worse than others, but then some days he stays in there and plays for the full two hours without a peep. Other days I am in the room 5 or 6 or more different times helping him. Keep it up, though, he will get it.
I also try to vary what toys, books, or other fun things he has access to so he doesn’t get completely bored. And if necessary, we also have a small snack in his room.
Good luck!
The answer to your question “how am I going to do this” is…….
just do it (with a smile is optional, but recommended)
I can *really* relate to how you feel. Completely. I think it varies by personality type, but the way I’m wired, I pretty quickly get to a mental breaking point if I don’t have some kind of break during the day — and with three kids in diapers (a three-year-old, a 22-month-old, and a 10-month-old) that’s not easy to pull off.
One of the best things I’ve done in recent memory is to make peace with the fact that me getting quiet time each day — *including* at least a little free time for myself if I also need to get some work done — is not optional. I know that some other moms can get by without it, but I’m not one of those moms. Once I made peace with this and explained to my husband that this needed to be a top, top priority for our family, a lot of things fell into place. If it’s helpful at all, here are some of the things we did:
– My three-year-old is also starting to drop his nap. On the days that he doesn’t nap, I enforce quiet time. Now, there are some days when I need to resort to letting him watch television so that he’ll stay quiet. I don’t love that idea, but to let him watch a couple of shows so that I can get some peace has made a *huge* difference in my ability to be a good mom to him and my other children for the rest of the day.
– Though our budget is really tight, we found a neighbor lady who will come over and help at a cheap hourly rate for a few hours per week. (Because I’m still around to lend a hand as needed, she’ll take this rate which is lower than her normal rate). This has meant cutting back in other areas of our budget, and it’s not something we’ll be able to afford long-term, but we’re squeezing it in for these next few months just to help me get past this phase of life.
Just thought I’d pass that on in case that’s helpful. I guess the bottom line of what I’ve learned is this: when you’re trying to juggle the responsibilities of having a newborn and a toddler, don’t be too hard on yourself. This isn’t the phase of life to try to be supermom. 🙂 Do your best, and make sure you get your own physical and mental needs met as well.
This too shall pass.
I wish I had some pearl of wisdom to impart, but I don’t.
My three-year old is starting to drop her nap. What has worked (thus far) is that she must go through the pre-nap ritual with the little ones and lie down in her bed with a book. If she remains quiet for 30 minutes she may come downstairs and help me or play quietly.
It has actually been nice to have some one-on-one time with her after my 30 minutes of peace.
Bleh, that sounds terrible. Although we have similar problems with the whole nap idea. I don’t know how W.W.’s daycare lady does it, but she gets him to take a nap in the afternoon about 3pm and makes sure he only naps for 1 hour.
At home, the only time he naps is a power nap in the car seat while we’re going somewhere.
When he doesn’t take a nap, or takes a very short one, I have to admit it makes the screaming at bedtime much easier. He’s mad about having to go to bed for a shorter period of time before he passes out.
I haven’t read all your posts but I think working the quiet time angle might work best. If you can convince him to stay in one spot for an 45 minutes to an hour so you can rest that would be great. But I’m not really sure how to do that either. Blocks, coloring, books, tv, what?
Wishing you lots of luck too.
I don’t have any amazing advice for the quiet time dilemma. I do know that you have to have some down time each day. I certainly am not a happy mommy without it. I also try not to plan to get too much done during nap time since I never know how long it will really last. I am glad that I dont have to try to squeeze work in anywhere, but if it really isn’t getting done I don’t think that it would be a bad thing to find a teenager or friend in your area to come over and help out for a few hours a couple days a week so you can still get your work done but you’re around if your kid really needs you.
Oh dear…
Stay calm and strong inside.
We still have ‘quiet time’ in our home after lunch (even a short sleep if mother says so) and my chn are 8+10yo (homeschooled). This time has evolved over time, but calling it quiet time helped the chn to understand that even if no sleep it was quiet. No cars, no pens. Now, it’s a great time for them to think and imagine.
My boy wasn’t so keen to start with, but one day (big deal!) he came to read a couple of books alongside me on the big bed. He still had to be quiet. The rules on our ‘big bed’ are: Still and quiet.
I was reading too (I think this is the key – modelling the behaviour you want), then I lay down for a snooze.
He (eventually) got the idea.
Blessings on your and your household,