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Kids/Parenting Faith

Easter (and cute things Rebecca says)

Rebecca is pretty dang cute—and she’s the reigning Princess of Precociousness around here. Her latest cute saying:

“Mommy, can I p’ay a game with you? Wike ‘Who Can Hide Da Most’?”

“Ah, my c’ean, wef’essing waday.” [Water]

We visited the St. George LDS Temple this week, and Rebecca was talking with one of the missionaries. He asked her why she thought the Christus statue had his hands outstretched. She replied, “I dunno. Mayme he’s a angel or sumping?”

Her first talk in the children’s Sunday School (“Primary”) was this week—she did great!

(Okay, this is from Easter, but she mentioned it in her talk!)

The Easter Bunny remembered how in years past, Peeps have not been very popular with my kids. Fortunately, the Easter Bunny (well, the EB’s mom) erred on the side of caution, and pink Peeps garnished their baskets Easter morning. Rebecca promptly bit their heads off:

Ate them, and then asked for “Mowe ‘mingos?”

“Mingos?”

F’amingos.”

Flamingos, folks. And last night, she proclaimed “Fuh-fuh-f’amingos stawt de same aw Fuh-fuh-F’ancesco!

True.

Christus statue photo by arbyreed

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Kids/Parenting

Singing!

Rachel has really taken to Nursery at church. Although she’s still just learning to talk, suddenly she has a whole new kind of vocabulary: songs.

Although she only knows one word of each song (okay, two words for three songs), she knows all of the actions.

This first one I didn’t realize what song she was doing at first until she added the little toss of her hands at the end. It was the “Bee!” that confirmed it:

Her other two favorites from Nursery are another “Bee!” song (“Itsy Bitsy Spider”) and “Dow!” (“Ring Around the Rosy”).

This reminds me of a dinnertime last fall, when Rebecca was talking about a song from her Nursery about an octopus. We don’t know any octopus songs, but Ryan jumped right in to adapt “Head Shoulders Knees and Toes”: “Head, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm . . . .”

“Mouth and beak,” I finished.

Rebecca was not amused. She gave us a very three-year-old glower. “You awe des makin my Desus [Jesus] song siwwy.”

We (okay, it’s just me) are trying to make sure their cultural education is broad in the classics. Witness exhibit 1 (it’s long and mostly sideways):

And exhibit 2, just Rachel:

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Faith

The end of a short era

When I was called as Primary (children’s Sunday school) president in October 2010, I met with the outgoing president. She was very sad to be leaving Primary.

I vowed (silently) that that wouldn’t be me. I didn’t want a big calling right then, with my husband in the bishopric and my kids being 4, 2, and 5 months and already having to struggle through Sunday meetings with little to no help because of Ryan’s responsibilities—and I was pretty stunned to be working in Primary. For perspective, my mom has had a lot of “big” callings on the ward (local) and stake (larger area, cf. diocese) level—but she never had a calling in Primary until a couple years ago. We didn’t do Primary: we did Young Women (12-18 year olds) and Relief Society (adults). Plus, couldn’t I get away from my kids for two hours a week???

Apparently, I was wrong—on all counts. Yesterday I was officially released. It was just time, apparently. The Lord had decided I was finished.

When the Bishop told me last week that I would be released this week, I was pretty shocked—surprised to be released, and surprised at how it felt to know it was coming to an end.

I wanted to stay in Primary. I wanted to be there for the funny things my children say—and they say a lot. I wanted to be there to watch all the kids learn and grow, to see the new 3-year-olds discover the fun of Primary, to stanch the constant turnover in the 30+ positions under our purview. (Ha. This never happens. We did what we could to turn over a full staff.)

When I thought about it this week, I wanted to cry. I expected to on Sunday (yesterday). I didn’t even feel the relief until half an hour before church. When Ryan called my name to stand for my vote of thanks (the custom when releasing people from positions of responsibility in the church), he expected me to cry. (I held it together just fine.)

It wasn’t a long time, but it felt like the end an era to me. It won’t be the same to go to church and not get to see my older two participating in their lessons. And I will miss it. I will miss them—most of all, my own children.

What do you know? I did love Primary.

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Kids/Parenting

Rachel’s half birthday!

Today is Rachel’s half birthday! She’s 18 months old! And we celebrated by going to Nursery one whole day early!

But first: I wrote last week about her signs. In the last four or five days, Rachel has picked up three new words, probably the most important in a baby’s vocabulary: Mama, Dada and . . . NO. Noooo. No. No. She can nod, but she just loves her new word so much that even when the answer is yes, she says, “No.”

It’s a little annoying sometimes, but as she was protesting getting dressed the other day, I realized that she’s never been able to exercise control like that before. It’s not that she doesn’t want to get dressed (she didn’t fight me at all), it’s that she wants to be independent.

Except for, of course, when she doesn’t. I was a little worried about her starting Nursery since she’s had a bit of separation anxiety lately. Hayden, however, was very excited for Rachel to go to Nursery, so the whole family walked down to the room with her after Sacrament Meeting. With Rebecca demonstrating, we washed her hands with sanitizer.

She was a little unsure of what to do—or whether she liked it—until I showed her to the “hors d’oeuvres” on one of the tables: a pile of pretzels and a pile of marshmallows. I stuck a pretzel in her mouth and she was sold. She climbed into the nearest chair and didn’t care whether we were there or not.

Rebecca still has a month left in Nursery, so we charged her with helping Rachel. The Nursery leader told us afterwards that Rebecca would sometimes look around for Rachel, saying, “Whewe’s my baby?” (At first they thought this was a doll until they saw she meant Rachel.)

Ryan, who normally takes Rachel during church since I’m in Primary, had the same experience, basically—he’d have a flash of panic, wondering, “Where’s Rachel?” and look around for her before he remembered.

Rachel handled it best of all. I had to pop in twice for other Primary stuff and each time, she was busy participating (if a bit timidly). She didn’t even notice me. She even colored her picture.

After church, Rebecca reported that she “‘Tected Wachew and made soy [sure] nobody take her and bees her new mommy” at Nursery.

But I think Rachel herself summed it up best. I asked her if she had so much fun in Nursery. She answered with a very solemn, “Noooo.”

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Kids/Parenting Fulfillment Faith

Fathers Matter, Too!

Though usually we talk about mothers and motherhood around here, I was asked to speak in church today. Some of my talk came from some previous Father’s day posts: Making Father’s Day Merry (Fabulous?), Dads are responsible (and important!) and Dads are capable.

And here are my other thoughts from today:

Children in today’s world need all the help they can get. Studies have shown that one family factor is strongly correlated with:

  • Not getting straight A’s
  • Repeating a grade
  • Dropping out of school
  • Obesity
  • higher delinquency and aggression test scores
  • Abuse or neglect, emotional or physical
  • poverty
  • Drinking alcohol and smoking tobacco
  • significantly more illicit drug use
  • Teen pregnancy

What was the one factor correlated with all of these circumstances? Not having a father in the home. (Statistics http://www.fatherhood.org)

It’s no wonder that Heavenly Father intended families to have two parents—because that’s how they function best. In the Proclamation to the World on the Family, we read:

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.

Dads belong in the family. It’s the ideal situation, and even if not all of us can enjoy the ideal, it’s important to recognize and honor fathers, especially today. It’s easy to find fault with fathers—and the media is a big help there. But for all the negative attention that dads get, I know that there are lots of fathers out there stepping up and doing a great job.

How can we honor the fathers in our lives?

  • We can pray for them.
  • We can get to know them.
  • We can honor them, obeying and listening to them.
  • We can forgive them.
  • We can love them.

Fathers may not realize their influence. But at least in my house, I can see it every day. This week alone, two of my sisters and I have talked about how things as little as phrases our father uses stay with us. Last week, Rachel heard the door open and she couldn’t see who had come in. “Da!” she shouted “Da! Da!” She does the same when she sees her father on the stand during Sacrament Meeting.

Rebecca’s favorite role to play is Buzz Lightyear. We were assigning roles to the rest of the family, and I asked if Daddy should be Zurg (sorry if I just spoiled the twist in Toy Story 2 for you). No, Rebecca reasoned, Daddy should be Andy because he’s nice.

But my favorite story is from Hayden: you ask him what he wants to be when he grows up, and his first (and often only) answer is “A father.” (And yes, “father,” not “dad or “daddy.”)

In the April 1999 General Conference [of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints], Elder Jeffrey R. Holland gave a talk called “The Hands of the Fathers,” where he relayed several stories of real fathers doing their best to fulfill that divine appointment, and the impact that they had in the eyes and lives of their children.

Three such stories:

A young Laurel I met on a conference assignment not long ago wrote to me after our visit and said, “I wish my dad knew how much I need him spiritually and emotionally. I crave any kind comment, any warm personal gesture. I don’t think he knows how much it would mean to me to have him take an active interest in what is going on in my life, to offer to give me a blessing, or just spend some time together. I know he worries that he won’t do the right thing or won’t say the words well. But just to have him try would mean more than he could ever know. I don’t want to sound ungrateful because I know he loves me. He sent me a note once and signed it ‘Love, Dad.’ I treasure that note. I hold it among my dearest possessions.”

“Much in my chaotic childhood was uncertain, but one thing I knew for sure: that my dad loved me. That certainty was the anchor of my young life. I came to know and love the Lord because my father loved him. I have never called anyone a fool or taken the Lord’s name in vain because he told me the Bible said I shouldn’t. I have always paid my tithing because he taught me it was a privilege to do so. I have always tried to take responsibility for my mistakes because my father did. Even though he was estranged from the Church for a [time], at the end of his life he served a mission and worked faithfully in the temple. In his will he said that any money left over from taking care of his [family] should go to the Church. He loved the Church with all of his heart. And because of him, so do I.”

“Often as I watch my son watch me, I am taken back to moments with my own dad, remembering how vividly I wanted to be just like him. I remember having a plastic razor and my own can of foaming cream, and each morning I would shave when he shaved. I remember following his footsteps back and forth across the grass as he mowed the lawn in summer.

“Now I want my son to follow my lead, and yet it terrifies me to know he probably will. Holding this little boy in my arms, I feel a ‘heavenly homesickness,’ a longing to love the way God loves, to comfort the way He comforts, to protect the way He protects. The answer to all the fears of my youth was always ‘What would Dad do?’ Now that I have a child to raise I am counting on a Heavenly Father to tell me exactly that.”

The responsibilities of fatherhood can be heavy. The Proclamation later states: “Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of [our family] obligations.”

Just like mothers, fathers may feel inadequate to these responsibilities at times, but as Elder L. Tom Perry has pointed out, “It is not a matter of whether you are most worthy or best qualified, but it is a matter of [divine] appointment.”

I conclude with one more thought from Elder Holland’s talk:

And, brethren, even when we are not “the best of men,” even in our limitations and inadequacy, we can keep making our way in the right direction because of the encouraging teachings set forth by a Divine Father and demonstrated by a Divine Son. With a Heavenly Father’s help we can leave more of a parental legacy than we suppose.

I testify that when we do all that we can as parents, trusting in and relying on the Lord for guidance and sustenance, Jesus Christ will justify and sanctify our efforts. He can make us more than we are as fathers, mothers and people, and He can make our children and our families whole. Fathers matter. Temple covenants can bind our families together forever. The priesthood is real. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

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Kids/Parenting

Rebecca’s baby blessing

Yesterday, Rebecca received her baby blessing, a custom for new additions in our church. Ryan gave her the blessing and it was beautiful!

I knit a lace shawl for her to use instead of a blanket (it is August, after all), and Rebecca wore the dress and bonnet that my mother made for me for my baby blessing (and my three sisters also wore it for their blessings):

rebecca baby blessing dress lace shawl

What you can’t see in the picture: she’s also wearing booties that were my mother’s.

And while I was taking pictures of her in the dress, I was lucky enough to catch one of those rare sleep smiles:
rebecca smiling