Tag: grass greener

Categories
Fulfillment

Tending the grass

You have to constantly remind yourself that your grass is greener than the grass on the other side because you have tended it with love and care.

from a comment on The next stage of life

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but life is a package deal, and when it comes down to it, we wouldn’t want to trade our package for anyone else’s.

So what can we do to tend our own grass?

A few ideas:

How do you tend your grass?

Photo by Stephen

Categories
Kids/Parenting

Life is a package

The grass is always greener growing on the other side, right? It’s all a matter of perspective. As one commentator here once said, the grass on our side of the fence is green because we’ve tended it with loving care.

But it’s still easy to see our neighbor’s lawns and think about how much we want to live there. However, it might be a nice place to visit . . .

Appearances can be deceiving—and our grass is on the other side of someone else’s fence, too. One of my friends, Michelle Davidson Argyle, has written very honestly about her struggles with envy (which we all have!), and she pointed out some great thoughts on the topic by Monica Wood a couple months ago. I’ll just quote a little here (adding my own emphasis):

Would you really want another life? You can’t go around cherry picking from this life or that one. Maybe you want his Pulitzer, her reviews, his money, her talent, but you’d also have to take his lung x-ray, her mother’s death, his stutter, her truly hideous hair. And besides, you’d have to give up your singing voice, your friend Robin, the two hundred bird songs you know by ear. So there you go. Life’s a package, and you know–you know this–you don’t truly want any package other than your own.

As much as my kids make my crazy and as much as I sometimes struggle with the vicissitudes of life as a mother, I wouldn’t trade them—and all the bad and all the good that comes with them—for anything.

What do you think? What makes you value your life-package?

Photo by Jonathan

Categories
Fulfillment

Watering our grass

(No, this isn’t a follow up to the situation with the neighbors who told the police, city council and mayor that we’ve neglected our lawn for three years.)

I was already planning this post when Lindsey commented on the post earlier this week about whether the grass is always greener:

My dad says something along the same lines, “If the grass looks greener on the other side . . . (dramatic pause) water your grass.” I’ve always loved that saying:)

That’s exactly what I wanted to talk about today. We’ve alluded to this conversation before, but what do you to water your grass? What do you do to put things into perspective, to remember how much you love this life you’ve chosen?

We started with some steps to fulfillment in motherhood (and I’m still working on posting about all of them!), but I’d love to hear what you do or think about to keep yourself happy (or just sane).

Lindsey’s comment can start us off:

. . . . I can’t believe how much more I’ve grown as a sahm, than while I was at college learning and working. And heck, my kids like me best of anyone; I don’t want to go spend my day with people who don’t like me as much as they do. Does wonders for my self-esteem:)

For me, watering my grass is as easy as making the conscious effort to look for what is good in my life instead of focusing on what I don’t have.

I think most of us find (choose!) fulfillment in the little things.

These days, those are things like Rebecca’s hip-swaying dancing, her first signs and words (I swear today she said “dance”!), her snuggles and her toddling first few steps. Not to be outdone, Hayden melts my heart when he lays his head on my shoulder and asks for kisses; when he lays on his bed, throws open his arms and calls for hugs (and giggles the whole time); calling out every letter he can identify (“H for Haydie! M for Marty! Y for Cougars!”); the way his little legs seem to get longer every day.

Beyond the little things, I also think taking “me” time every day helps—even (especially!) if it’s just a nap.

How do you water your grass? What do you do to enjoy the present and the little things? What do you do or think about to keep yourself happy?

Photo by Aaron Vidal

Categories
Fulfillment

Is the grass really greener?

Are you a working mom? Do you like it? A recent employment survey at WomansDay.com says that most working women don’t like it.

awesome officeOf the 4000 working women surveyed, 63% said their jobs are “just a paycheck,” and 79% said they want something better for their children when asked if they want their kids to follow in their footsteps.

So while we stay-at-home moms (or even work-at-home moms) sometimes wish they were out in the work force, doing something that made them feel like they were “contributing to society” or doing something fulfilling with their lives, working moms (and non-moms) are wishing they could stay home and do the same thing.

Perhaps most telling was the question:

Do you ever wish you could ditch your job and stay home with your kids all day?

  • 57%: Yes. I’d give anything to do that.
  • 40%: No. I need to get out of the house.
  • 4%: I’m already a stay-at-home mom.

That’s almost 2-to-1 wishing they could stay home. (And I guess we don’t really know if this question was asked of only mothers, so maybe some of those saying “No” don’t have kids at home. Staying home alone would probably get boring.)

My desk, one of the rare times it was clean. I work at home.I also liked the question “Is work/life balance a myth?” Interestingly, there was a very close contest here (though that might be because of the way they phrased the answers). 53% said, “Yes, work/life balance is a myth created by men,” while 47% chose, “No, you can have it all.”

Maybe the grass isn’t always greener (but please don’t call the cops on me!). And maybe, as Sher put it, “I think we need to water our grass more. Then it can grow and look better than that on the other side.”

What do you think? How can we water our grass, at work or at home? Do you enjoy working/staying at home, or would you want to switch?