Tag: guest-blogging

Categories
Kids/Parenting

Guest post: Are you entitled to a full night’s sleep?

Carrie Lauth is a mother of four and hosts a podcast at Natural Moms Talk Radio and blogs at Blah, Blah, Blog.

Our culture seems to have an obsession with new parents getting their baby to sleep through the night right away. There are countless books on the bookstore shelves that promise to help parents solve their child’s sleep “problems” and ensure that they get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night. Can I be blunt and say that this mentality sometimes works my nerves?

I’m of the mind that there is no law that states that anyone deserves a full night’s sleep if someone else needs them.

Think of all the people who willingly forgo uninterrupted sleep. For instance: Ministers, Obstetricians and Midwives, Firefighters, EMTs and ER staff accept that they will be getting up in the middle of sleep to help people.

I remember talking with a older friend of mine, whose daughter was my age, about this topic. She told me, in a nutshell:

A full night’s sleep ends when you become a parent. It’s not just when they’re little either. Even after the baby stage, there was sickness, nightmares, asthma, the teen years (waiting up for them to get home from parties, concerts, etc.). Then there was worrying about their marriages (Are they happy? Is my new son-in-law treating our daughter well? Do they have enough money?), worrying about your grandkids, etc. . . .

I thought that was such an interesting and telling statement. So here’s my take on it:

If someone needs me, am I entitled to uninterrupted sleep?

What if my best friend calls crying in the middle of the night? Most of us bolt upright if the phone rings when we’re in bed. Do we let our friends “cry it out” alone?

Why are babies, whose pain is so primal that it can sink deep into their muscles, bones, and nervous system, any different?

A baby who cries for mommy in the night just wants to be near his most favorite person in the world, asleep or awake. Why are many people against that?

I’m not going to say that sleep deprivation is easy to endure. I’m the first person to admit that my behavior can change when I haven’t had enough sleep. But as I see it, the problem is not so much that you aren’t getting enough rest, the problem is what you (and what the world) expect of yourself when you are awake!

If you have one baby or toddler and you expect for your house to be as clean as it was B.C. (before children), you’re expecting too much.

If you have more than one, then you really expect too much of yourself. Keeping everyone a) alive b) fed c) clean and d) dry is a full time occupation in itself.

Do yourself a favor. Adjust the pace of life and adjust the burden you place on yourself. If you’re sleep deprived and caring for a new baby, focus on these basic things:

Feed yourself
Feed the baby

and if you can, then go on to:

Clean yourself
Clean the baby

Only then should you tackle:

Clean the house
Shopping, errands etc

If you’re learning how to breastfeed your newborn, then do that. Don’t worry for now about being Martha Stewart. If anyone complains, don’t invite them back to your house. If your husband complains, hand him the baby, remind him that men can lactate, and ask if he wants to take over the job.

When your baby is young and he’s your first, you can (and you should) nap with him during the day. Learn how to breastfeed lying down and get some rest that way. Even if you don’t fall asleep you’ll still feel better for it.

If you have a crawling baby or older toddler, this tip has worked for some moms. Totally childproof one room in the house. Lay on the floor and provide the little one with a couple of toys, and close your eyes. It’s amazing how much better you’ll feel with 5 minutes of shut eye. Even better, enjoy that afternoon nap with your child. He’ll sleep better and longer if you nap together. You might even be able to slip away after 20 minutes. Resist the urge to do housework when your child is sleeping—that’s your recharge time!

If you’re an employed mom then you need to get creative. Go to bed at 8 p.m. with the baby. If you’re up at 6 then you’ve gotten 10 hours of rest, total, even if it’s interrupted. Be sure to take naps on the weekends. Nap at work and see if anyone notices. (Just kidding!)

Be flexible with your sleeping arrangements. It was a wise person who said that the best place for babies to sleep is the place where everyone involved gets the most rest.

It also helps to keep a positive outlook. Attitude is everything, as they say. I remember going to concerts B.C. (before children) and not getting home until 2 or 3. I would drag myself around the next day, but it was worth it. Having a good attitude about sleep means that the effects of being tired won’t be so overwhelming.

In her book The Continuum Concept, Jean Leidloff spoke about the Yequana Indians. In their culture, humor is valued more than sleep. The men sleep communally around a fire, and if one wakes up and remembers a good joke, he wakes up the others and tells them the joke. They all have a good laugh then go back to sleep. I wonder what life would be like in our world if we felt the same way?

These moments, even the sleepless ones, with a young baby to cuddle will be over so very fast!

Categories
Kids/Parenting Ryan/Married Life

First Guest Blogger — Daddy x 2!

Jordan is coaching me (Ryan) through how to do a post here on MamaBlogga, so hopefully I won’t mess anything up too badly. She is currently in a hospital bed holding our new baby girl Rebecca who was born this morning at 4:58 am. Jordan’s contractions started almost 36 hours before, but only got really strong about midnight. About two thirty in the morning Jordan decided that it was time to head to the hospital.

By the time we got all ready and actually got to the hospital it was 3:30. The nurse checked her out and told us she was at an eight and asked if Jordan had wanted an epidural. The moment of truth.

Bit of background: Jordan had a very bad spinal headache caused by a botched epidural during Hayden’s birth. She was basically flat on her back for a whole week afterwards. So when she found out she was pregnant again, she decided she wanted to go natural. She has been practicing self-hypnosis with some good results for several months now. During several of her stronger contractions before we came to the hospital she had doubts that she could go through with it.

Jordan replied to the nurse, “Well, I wasn’t planning on it?” The nurse, sensing Jordan’s hesitancy, told her that she had come this far and Jordan could do it without. So it was—no epidural, au naturel. I believed she could do it, but then again, I’ve never had to go through anything like what she was.

The doctor got there about 4:30 and she started pushing. She had to “learn” how to push all over again since her first birth was with an epidural and she couldn’t feel anything. Only a (what it seemed to me) a short thirty minutes later, Rebecca was born.

Mom and baby doing fine

A small personal note—I was very proud of Jordan for going through with her desire to go all natural. At times she questioned if she could do it, but she was a champ and did amazing. (With the help of a great nurse.)

All Rebecca’s vitals were strong, which was a relief since Hayden had a few issues after he was born. She weighed in at 5 lbs 13 oz and came in at 18.5 inches long. She almost immediately got to nurse and did so for almost an hour before she was taken away to get some shots and get her first bath. So both mom and baby are doing great other than a bit tired. So hopefully Jordan will be able to get online tomorrow and fill in any gaps that I might have left out.

Categories
MetaBlogging

Call for guest bloggers!

So, in case you’ve missed this, I’m expecting a baby in about two and a half weeks. And I’m assuming most of you know how life after birth can get pretty crazy. I have a few post ideas lined up, but I’d love to get more of my great readers involved here on MamaBlogga with guest posts.

Interested? Here are the basic guidelines:

  • Write a post of fewer than 1000 words on one of the main topics on MamaBlogga: fulfillment in motherhood, parenting, or blogging.
  • Send it to me in the body of an e-mail (no attachments) to blog (at) mamablogga.com.
  • Include your name (as you would like it to appear), a biography (with credentials, if you have any. Like, y’know, children), and links to your blog and your blog feed (if you have them).
  • I’d prefer to receive guest posts by Friday, 25 July 2008. After that point, I don’t know how long my response time will be, but I’ll still try to feature posts submitted.

What’s the benefit for you? Well, this can help drive traffic to your blog, as well as give you a few new links. Plus, you get to feel good for helping another mom out 😉 .

How can you make the most of this? Read the MamaBlogga article on tips for effective guest blogging!

How many will I take? I’ll take as many as I can get—who knows when things will get back to “normal” after a new baby!

Any other catches? I reserve the right to edit submitted guest posts for content, clarity, grammar etc., but I will not alter meaning. The original author retains copyright, but grants permission for MamaBlogga to post their submitted guest post indefinitely on MamaBlogga.com.

Categories
Kids/Parenting

Guest post: The Real Secrets of Parenthood

Today is our first guest blogging post! If you’re interested in writing a guest post for MamaBlogga, read Get the Most out of Guest Blogging!

With a degree in Journalism, Cardiogirl has always been a careful observer of the world around her. She has worked in journalism, graphic design and marketing/advertising. Now a stay-at-home mom of two three daughters, she blogs daily at Cardiogirl.net: 19% body fat, 100% fun. To read more of her writing, subscribe to Cardiogirl!

The Real Secrets of Parenthood

When I was pregnant, and it became obvious, everyone told me how much my life was going to change. The main comment was about the lack of sleep that was in store for me. How I would be stumbling about wishing I could sleep for just 45 minutes uninterrupted. After I had the baby that did end up being true, but I always wondered why the only thing people had to say about a new child was negative.

I try to be positive when I see a pregnant friend and simply say, “Congratulations, how exciting!” because a new baby is exciting. I don’t want to contribute to the pessimistic karma following my fellow gestating sisters. But now that I have children, I feel that there are a few more secrets out there that parents guard fiercely, yet nod sympathetically when asked about.

Secret Number One: Teething is a drag.

It really is. It can start as early as three months old but will be in full force by the time your little peanut is six months old. It consists of red cheeks (on the face), excessive drooling, fever (sometimes) and constant crying and crankiness. It’s real fun. This does not end until your baby has roughly 20 teeth. Yeah, 20 times you’ll go through this. Keep the Motrin handy and don’t be afraid to use it. Liberally.

Secret Number Two: Potty Training is also a major drag.

It’s hard to teach a small child how to suddenly change a habit that is genetically ingrained. “No, no, honey. When you start to let your bottom relax (what does relax mean, Mommy?) stop and run to the toilet.” Yeah. It’s sort of like trying to teach a 2-year-old Greek and quantum physics at the same time. How do you explain what your bladder/bowels feel like to someone who doesn’t know the feeling since their body just takes over and relieves them of the discomfort? How do you capture a moon beam in your hand? How do you stop the rain from falling? It ain’t easy.

Secret Number Three: Vomiting/Diarrhea sucks it like no one’s business.

At some point in time either before, during or after Secret Number One and Two your sweet little baby will get the flu. Sometimes you will experience just one side of this dastardly duo: perhaps just diarrhea. Believe it or not, that is a blessing. It’s when your baby starts vomiting (and sometimes toots out a package in the diaper while simultaneously projectile vomiting) that the fun begins.

Why just two days ago I was vomited on three times. Yes, while I was holding the baby. Yup, all over the front of my shirt as well as on her shirt and pants. We had numerous baths and outfit changes that day. I tried to imagine I was modeling the latest fashions in Milan and this was just one more costume change before I made it back out on the catwalk. That didn’t help.

I’m just saying that every step of parenthood is fraught with challenges. It’s a completely different culture and once you join the ranks you, too, will be privy to the secrets. Whether the new parents down the street realizes that or not, they will be initiated soon enough.

So next time you see a pregnant woman, simply say “Congratulations.”

Thanks for sharing your guest post with us, Cardiogirl! Now, leave a comment here and head on over to Cardiogirl.net for more great writing!

Categories
MetaBlogging

Get the most out of guest blogging

Table of contents for Blogging success

Looking for your gold medal event for the BlogOlympics? Why not submit a guest post to a host blog? Read on to learn the why and how of guest blogging—and how to get the most out of your guest post.

Why should you guest blog?
Mostly because it’s totally fun! Okay, so there are other reasons: it helps drive traffic to your blog and helps to establish you as an authority on your chosen subject. In fact, it helped to get me my professional blogging gig (over on my work blog). Guest blogging also helps to build relationships with other bloggers, introduce you to new readers and increase your subscribers.

How should you guest blog?
Of course, guest blogging is only of benefit to the host and the guest if done properly. You must research the blog, write the post and contact the blogger. And yes, in that order.

Research blogs
The best place to begin looking for blogs to guest post on is in your feed reader—blogs you already know and enjoy reading. If you’re already familiar with a blog, that makes the research phase that much easier. You can also discover new blogs from commenters on your blog, your favorite blogs’ blogrolls, searches and other links.

To most effectively leverage your guest blogging, target a blog with an audience that’s similar to yours. Guest posting on a photography blog might not get you very many subscribers to your cat blog, but guest posting on another cat blog might. Guest posting on a blog about cat grooming might also bring in more visitors. (Remember, too, that it’s not about competition in the blogosphere—it’s about community building.)

Once you’ve selected the blog(s) you’d like to target, make sure you know what kind of post they’d accept. If you’re not already familiar with the “mission” and audience of a blog, look at the About page, the author bio and the categories to get a feel for the different areas the blog addresses. Read through at least three posts to get a feel for the blog’s style—is it personal, conversational, informal, professional, informational, preachy? You don’t necessarily have to write in the same style, but it’s good to understand what kind of blog you’re writing for.

Also look around to see if the blog already has a guest posting policy—no submissions, submissions via e-mail, queries first, etc. Be sure to follow those guidelines!

Write the post
Once you have a feel for the style and topics of the blog, write a guest post specifically for that blog. Unless the blogger has specifically stated otherwise, it’s generally poor form to cut-and-paste one of your old blog posts or a guest post that you’ve already posted on another blog.

As you write the post, look for ways that you can interlink the post with articles from not only your blog but also the host blog as well. Making that extra effort to integrate your post into the host blog will most likely impress your host and make the post act as a solid bridge between your blog and the host’s.

Add value to the host’s blog with your post. This is especially important if you’re sending an unsolicited submission: make your post as useful as possible to the host blog’s readers so the host blogger can’t cut and paste your submission fast enough.

Contact the blogger
When you’ve finished your post (or at least a draft that you’d be willing to share), contact the host blogger, via email if possible. Don’t force them to read through the entire post to figure out what you want.

In your introduction, tell how you found the blog (or how long you’ve subscribed, if you can’t remember how you found it anymore). Be sure to introduce yourself and explain how you’ve come to write about the topic as well. It certainly helps if the blogger recognizes your name from your frequent, valuable contributions to his/her blog in the comments. Mention a few articles or aspects of the host blog that you particularly liked, then say that you’ve written a post that would appeal to their readers.

Summarize your post, hitting the best points and making it clear how your post would appeal to the host blog’s readers. This is especially important if the blogger has a policy of taking only query letters first, but it can help get your foot in the door with almost any blogger.

Include your post either in the body of the email or as an attachment. (In my opinion, the body of the email is always a safe bet.)

Another way to make your post more appealing: contact the blogger at an “opportune moment.” Darren Rowse at ProBlogger (who doesn’t really need the exposure) posted today about helping a blogging friend out with a guest post when he saw that his friend was sick. Going on vacation, taking a blog break, moving, having a baby, and, of course, asking for guest bloggers are all examples of times that bloggers would appreciate the hand.

Leveraging Your Guest Blogging
Of course, I’ve already mentioned one way to leverage your guest blogging—include a link or two to a post on your blog. This is one of those times where you get to choose the anchor text of the link, so choose wisely (the anchor text, the underlined text that forms the link, is taken into account when calculating search engine rankings). “Click here” and “read more” aren’t descriptive or helpful to readers or search engines.

If your targeted blogger is amenable, you’re well on your way to getting the most out of guest blogging. Ask your host blogger to include your short biography at the beginning and/or end of the post. Provide the biography yourself to minimize your host blogger’s work load and make sure you get it all right.

Elements to include in your biography:

  • Your name (duh)
  • Your blog’s name
  • A link to your blog (most likely your blog name; let’s not abuse the host blogger’s good graces!)
  • One or two short facts that show that you’re qualified to write on the topic.
  • A link to your RSS feed.

An example biography:

Ellodie McPherson has raised and showed Turkish swimming cats for sixteen years. She blogs about her experiences at My Cats Can Swim. You can subscribe to My Cats Can Swim to read more of her thoughts and experiences on cat grooming and cat shows.

If the host blogger agrees, you could include a picture of yourself in your bio. Maybe even with your cats.

Once your post is live, do your best to impress your host by driving traffic to the post. Link to it from your blog; encourage friends, family and readers to visit it and pass it along; and vote for it on social networks (StumbleUpon is a favorite of mine). If you guest blog often, you can do a weekly roundup post like Lorelle on WordPress does, reviewing her best posts on several websites.

Much of these tips were also covered in an interview I did with Create Business Growth last month.

Guest Blogging on MamaBlogga
A couple nights ago I dreamt that I received a blog comment that not only disagreed with my post, but went on to attack everything from my professional work to the layout of my blog, ranting that no one could possibly trust anything said from a site that looked so crappy. (It doesn’t look crappy, does it?) Perhaps this is a sign it’s time for me to back off a little bit. But rather than letting MamaBlogga lie fallow, I’m opening it up for guest blogging.

Interested? Here are the basic guidelines:

  • Write a post of fewer than 1000 words on one of the main topics on MamaBlogga: fulfillment in motherhood, parenting, or blogging.
  • Send it to me in the body of an e-mail (no attachments) to blog (at) mamablogga.com.
  • Include your name (as you would like it to appear), a biography (with credentials, if you have any. Like, y’know, children), and links to your blog and your blog feed (if you have them).

I’m looking forward to helping you get the most out of guest blogging!

For more advice and tips from real moms, visit this week’s Works-for-Me Wednesday.

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