Tag: kids

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Kids/Parenting Fulfillment

My Kids are Computers

I pretty much have to congratulate myself on this one: when my kids were born, I checked off the box that said “Computer module.” I really didn’t quite understand what that would entail, but boy, did I make the right decision!

These days, behavior, morals, even chores—you know what? All of parenting is just not the hassle it’s made out to be! All I have to do is enter my input:

Environment.church {
behavior: reverent;
volume: 10%;
default-position: seated;
thoughts: Jesus;
}

And BAM! My kids are the most reverent at church! (It’s important to beat other people with your reverence, too.)

At home, it’s just as easy:

Operation.chores {
complaining: none;
enthusiasm: 85%;
competence: 100%;
willingness-to-see-it-through: 200%
}

Entitlement? A problem of the past!

Operation.gifts {
response: gratitude-sincere;
attutide: positive;
asking-for-more: please;
if-no: whining-off;
}

Uh . . . YEEEEAH. Right. My kids aren’t computers, and I’m betting neither are yours. For some reason, it’s sometimes hard to remember this, but kids are people.  They come with their own preferences and penchants and personalities. Their default settings are the same as any adults’, really:

Default {
selfish: yes;
self-centered: yes;
ungrateful: yes;
minimal-regard-for-others: yes;
}

I kind of think they’re that way by design. The whole job of parents is to teach kids otherwise (hopefully so thoroughly that our defaults as adults aren’t the same!). But it takes a lot more than one line of code to change ingrained, inborn behaviors for a lifetime.

That’s why parenthood is so hard. It doesn’t matter how many times you teach a child to be grateful/not whine/not throw a tantrum because they don’t get something they want, they’ll probably do it again.

THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU FAILED. It means your child is still a person and probably wants some control over his/her life. It means you have to keep teaching the same lessons you’ve taught a thousand times, probably a thousand more times—basically until your kids grow out of some of the behaviors. (I’m sure there are a few you can legitimately extinguish. Biting, maybe?)

And even then, even adults slip back into these natural-man behaviors. OVERCOMING THESE ID TENDENCIES IS THE BATTLE OF LIFE. I believe one of the major reasons why we came to earth is to learn to control our bodies, our urges, ourselves.

It starts in childhood with external instruction from our parents, but it never, ever ends. Neither does the battle of parenthood.

We will teach our children the same things over and over and over again. And they’ll still not learn it, or they’ll still act up, or they’ll still be people.

But you know what? That’s okay. Because I didn’t sign up for computers. I signed up for kids.

What do you think? Are your kids computers? Are you glad? Why?

Computer monitor photo by Brian/David

Categories
Kids/Parenting Fulfillment

Things you never get used to as a mom

A while back we talked about the things you surprisingly get used to as a mother–but there are some things that no matter how many times you’re confronted with them, you never get used to them.

1. Never getting what you need (or not enough of what you need): Whether it’s time or personal space or your own dang bowl of ice cream

2. The awe in a child’s eyes at the sight of snow (even if it’s the fourth time today)

3. How quickly you go from the most important person in their life to the one they wouldn’t be caught dead with (and back again)

4. Never getting a vacation (you take trips, but those are just stress somewhere else!).

5. How hard it hits you during those amazing moments: you love this, and you love them.

What do you think? What will you never get used to as a mom?

Categories
Kids/Parenting

Peekaboo!

Rachel is now cruising on the furniture, and even standing unsupported for a couple seconds these days—but this is my favorite trick of hers. She fussed extra hard when I wiped her face during a feeding and wouldn’t quiet until I surrendered the rag.

Categories
Kids/Parenting Fulfillment

Things you get used to as a mom

When I first became a mom, the adjustment was hard. Looking back now (five short/long years later), I realize so many of the things I thought I’d never get used to are just part of my routine now—and that’s not a bad thing!

1. Taking three times as long as it should to do just about everything.
Especially, but not limited to, taking a walk, shopping, using the stairs, outings, reading, crafts . . .

2. Running on empty, like all the time.
This doesn’t mean that you won’t throw the occasional grown-up-tantrum when the baby wakes up for the day at 5:30 after a child had you out of bed every hour since you dared to go to bed at midnight. But you’ll make it. Not fun, but physically possible.

3. The cuteness of childhood, adorable as it is.
You take for granted that they’ll be that way forever. Just this week, Rebecca started saying “p’ee-p’ease” instead of “mee-mease.”

4. The present.
It’s almost as if they’ve always been this size/capable/annoying/wonderful.

5. Being needed, like all the time.
And if for some reason your kids don’t need you, somehow we find other ways to make ourselves useful. Or other people or things who need us.

6. Being dirty.
It sounds gross, but seriously, from the stages of nursing to the diapers to the mud-pie stage, you realize that a little dirt isn’t the end of the world. (And if it’s not you physically, it’s probably the kids or the house. Or all three.) Just makes you appreciate the clean even more!

7. Having these sweet strangers around.
It seems like the older they get, the more they become their own people. It’s almost as if we can’t really know them the way we did when they were our babies. But we love them and love to get to know them a little better every day.

What have you gotten used to as a mother?