Tag: mother’s day

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Fulfillment

I can’t wait until they’re older

I know that I, like a lot of other mothers, can’t wait until my children are older. When Hayden doesn’t have to bug me for every Goldfish and glass of water, when the baby doesn’t kick me all the time, when Hayden grows out of the “Drama King” stage (aka the terrible twos), etc., etc.—then I’ll be able to say “this was worth it.”

But y’know what? The reason I started this blog—and Making Mother’s Day Merry—is because I don’t want to look back and say “this was worth it.” I want to be able to look at them now (okay, well, look at Hayden for now) and say “This IS worth it.”

I know, perhaps all too well, that this won’t happen every day. But I can’t wait until they’re older to finally begin to think that I’ve made the right choice with my life.

smaller making mothers day merry badgeOf course, I do hope and expect to have a day when my children are grown and off on their own, leading good, responsible lives when I will be able to say “This has been so worth it.”

But today, I’m not condescending from that lofty peak of experience to tell you that joy can be found when you finally make it up there. Frankly, I can’t promise that to myself or to anyone else.

Instead, I’m trying to gain at least a little of that mountain-top perspective where I am today. If I don’t start working toward enjoying motherhood today, I’m really not sure I’ll ever get to a point where I can look back and say, “Yeah, that was worth it, after all.” I’m not sure I’ll have anything to look back on with fondness if I don’t appreciate what motherhood is today.

Yes, motherhood entails work. But that is not what motherhood is. And if I don’t take time to enjoy motherhood now, I think that motherhood will never be anything more than just work to me.

So, no, I can’t wait until my children are older. I simply can’t wait that long to, as I said on Wednesday, recognize “that raising my children is important, and quite probably the most important thing I’ll ever do—to understand that it’s a task that’s worth doing.”

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Fulfillment Faith

The work of motherhood

smaller making mothers day merry badgeYesterday, I asked:

Do you find it difficult to honor motherhood? I know I do! If so, why do you think that is? Is it the nature of the work? Pressures from others? Pressures and expectations from yourself?

For me, it’s a combination of the three, of course, but mostly expectations I have for myself, followed by the repetitive and even “drudgerous” nature of the “work” of motherhood.

But even as I pondered that, I realized that my underlying assumption here is misleading. Yes, motherhood is work. It’s hard work, even. But motherhood itself, motherhood as an institution, has very little to do with the maintenance- and housework that we commonly associate it.

As I’ve said before, motherhood isn’t about housework. It’s not about cleaning or cooking or organizing, though all those things are part-and-parcel of the tasks that come with having children. But “Motherhood is not, at its heart, about doing. Motherhood is about being. Because motherhood isn’t just something you do; it’s who you are.”

Granted, these tasks are important—and time consuming. But perhaps if we separate the day-to-day chores that accompany (or are simply magnified by) the arrival children, we’ll be able to slowly begin to see motherhood in a positive light.

What do you think? Can we mentally separate the maintenance of our children (and our own) from the meaning of motherhood?

Categories
Fulfillment Faith

HONORing motherhood

smaller making mothers day merry badgeI find it interesting that in the King James Version of the Bible, nine of the ten commandments are negative commandments: don’t do this, don’t do that. Even “Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy” goes on to say “thou shalt not do any work. . . .” To break these commandments, you have to actively do something: kill, cheat, worship a graven image, etc.

There one exception, one commandment that could be broken by simply a sin of omission: “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land with the Lord thy God shall give thee.”

Traditionally, we understand this commandment to mean “obey your parents,” but that isn’t what it says. It says to honour. (Perhaps your wedding vows contained the promise to “love, honor and obey,” three different concepts.) This particular word choice can add a lot to our understanding of not only this commandment but also the kind of value that we should place on motherhood. (I’d love to hear any insights gained on this from the original Hebrew, too, if anyone has any!)

What does it mean to honor motherhood? We can pretty easily define motherhood, and we’ve even done so in one of our most popular group writing projects.

So what does it mean to ‘honor’ motherhood? In my scriptures, a helpful footnote gives a few synonyms for ‘honour’: “respect or value.” This goes far deeper than just obeying your parents’ rules until you get out of the house, and expecting the same from your children.

Truly honoring motherhood means to place value upon the efforts that we make as mothers every day, and not just because these efforts give us food to eat, clean clothes to wear and a clean house. Honoring motherhood means recognizing that raising our children is important, and quite probably the most important thing we’ll ever do. It’s a task that’s worth doing, worth doing well, and incredibly challenging.

Do you find it difficult to honor motherhood? I know I do! If so, why do you think that is? Is it the nature of the work? Pressures from others? Pressures and expectations from yourself?

Categories
Fulfillment

A very Merry (un)Mother’s Day!

making mothers day merry badgeAre you counting down until Mother’s day? If not, here’s a heads up: it’s coming up in about three weeks (May 11!).

In honor of this most awesome mothering holiday, I’m planning a series of posts on honoring, appreciating and showing appreciation for motherhood. I would love it if you’d join me in making Mother’s day merry!

Naturally, you can do this by reading and commenting on my posts here. You can also do this by specific suggesting subjects for me to write on. But best of all, you can do this by posting your own post about honoring motherhood. You can call for the world to sit up and notice moms; you can remind your kids and husband of all you do for them.

Won’t you join me in celebrating all that mothers have done for us, and continue to do today?