Tag: thank-you

Categories
Fulfillment

A hundred things to be grateful for

Today at church, one of the speakers talked about gratitude. Granted, I didn’t hear a whole lot of what he said as I was wrestling with my kids, but after a very stressful morning of mental (and sometimes vocal) whining, it was a reminder I needed to hear.

To help me focus more on getting grateful, I’m going to make a list of ten things I’m grateful for each day over the next two weeks (Monday-Friday)—no repeats.

A hundred things to be grateful for. Are you game? Join in by sharing your lists on your blog or in the comments!

(And don’t worry, I won’t let the gratitude lists take over the blog. We’ll still have content. I might not post the lists every day, but whenever else I post, I’ll catch up on the lists.)

Photo by Alicia Cerullo

Categories
Kids/Parenting Fulfillment

Getting into the groove of gratitude

Almost a year ago, I attended a parenting class. Basically, the takeaway was to actually apply consequences to your children’s actions instead of just talking about them. (Which is a big old DUH—and an awful lot of work.) But the thing that’s really made a difference in our home was the teacher’s other point.

Last week, I came across the statistics backing this up again and I thought I’d share.

They say that children get a lot more negative messages than positive ones. Some of these are understandably necessary: no, you can’t have candy three meals a day; no, you can’t touch the hot stove; no, you can’t run into traffic. But can you imagine if you were told “no” as often as a four-year-old does?

(Yes, yes I can. “No, you can’t do what you want right now. No, everything anyone has ever told you won’t work to help this child. No, you can’t get the amount of rest that is physically necessary to your mental health and wellbeing.”)

Those feelings of negativity lead to frustration. Kids (and moms!) need more positive messages—research suggests as many as four to five positive messages per negative message. The positive messages can also serve as positive reinforcement to get your kids to do what you want (woot!).

So I’ve been working on giving my kids lots of positive reinforcement and messages for almost a year. I can’t say it’s been an amazing transformation and now they’re perfect angels—but I know that it’s making a difference to my kids.

I know because the simplest little things that I do for my kids sometimes prompt some familiar-sounding responses:

“Mom! You made me a sanwich! I never been so happy!”

“Mom! I so p’oud o’ you for getting my paper!”

But most importantly, I get to hear things like this:

“Dankoo for zip me up!”

“Thanks for picking that up!”

“Oh, thank you!”

And that’s a positive message every Mom could use.

What nice things do you recognize in your kids’ mouths?

Photo by Michele Truex

Categories
Ryan/Married Life Fulfillment

Happy Father’s Day

I don’t think a blog about motherhood would be quite complete without a suitable tribute to fathers. After all, good dads capable, responsible and important.

I probably can’t say enough about fathers, or say enough to thank the father of my children. The man does dishes, reads with Hayden, and can even put the kids to bed.

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Thank you, Ryan!

So go ahead, brag on Dad here!

Categories
Fulfillment

Appreciating motherhood

I think we mothers could do better at honoring motherhood ourselves if we had just a little help from the people around us—you know, mostly the ones that we spend the better part of our lives cooking, cleaning and caring for.

Holding our own calling in high regard is next to impossible when we feel like everything we do goes by unnoticed. And, honestly, the people that we work the hardest to serve may never appreciate what we do for them—no, not even if we make our sweet spouses watch the children all week long.

For some reason, this week, Hayden has stopped saying “Daychew” (Thank you) and replaced it with “Daychew, Mommy.” My husband can be really great at noticing and getting a lot of the small things. But usually we mothers have to settle for much smaller or more indirect forms of gratitude.

I think that there are two aspects to feeling this direct appreciation, which we may only get on Mother’s Day. They are: seeing that our families value what we do and seeing a demonstration of their appreciation for this.

I know on the surface, these look like the same thing—but they’re not. It’s not easy, but you can certainly have one without the other: a friend or family member who recognizes that being a mother is important, but never seems to understand why you’re not available at the drop of a hat or just not the same as you were before. Another who praises your mothering skills but derides your choices (to stay home, to breastfeed, to work—you name it).

For us to feel appreciated, I think we need to be able to see that the people who are most important in our lives—the ones that we are nurturing every day—understand that this is an important work, but a lot of work. They see that we have made sacrifices to have children and lead our lives this way.

They see our love in the things that we do for them—and they show their love and appreciation in the things that they say and do for us.

And you know what, husbands, children and family members? You don’t have to do that just once a year.

What do you think—how can our friends and families show us that they appreciate what we do for them? (Or, if it’s an easier question: what do you want for Mother’s Day—and every other day of the year?)

Categories
Kids/Parenting

Sometimes it really is just by example

We’ve been working for months on getting Hayden to say “please” and “thank you.” (“Please” was just a sign until a couple weeks ago, when he started saying “p’eece”!) He’s picked up the words and signs pretty well, but almost always has to be prompted to say “Please”—and by ‘prompted,’ I don’t mean asking “What do you say?” I mean telling him, “Say please.”

The few times he does spontaneously use please have usually been when I’ve said no to something he wants (or he thinks I’m saying no). Then it seems like he thinks “please” (which is done in perfect desperation) is a guarantee that he’ll get what he wants.

“Thank you” has (thankfully) met a bit more success. He’s come to understand that when someone gives him something, he should say “thank you” (or, for him “dootoo”). He also likes to thank me when he gives me something, but I’ll take it.

This morning, however, I discovered that he has one courtesy that I don’t remember teaching him. I may have told him this once or twice, but from what I recall, this is something he must have learned from example:

I sneezed. He said “b’eh doo.” For those of you not fluent in pretoddler (or Hayden), that’s “Bless you.” And this wasn’t just once; it was at least three times today.

I certainly feel blessed! 😉