Yesterday, I asked:
Do you find it difficult to honor motherhood? I know I do! If so, why do you think that is? Is it the nature of the work? Pressures from others? Pressures and expectations from yourself?
For me, it’s a combination of the three, of course, but mostly expectations I have for myself, followed by the repetitive and even “drudgerous” nature of the “work” of motherhood.
But even as I pondered that, I realized that my underlying assumption here is misleading. Yes, motherhood is work. It’s hard work, even. But motherhood itself, motherhood as an institution, has very little to do with the maintenance- and housework that we commonly associate it.
As I’ve said before, motherhood isn’t about housework. It’s not about cleaning or cooking or organizing, though all those things are part-and-parcel of the tasks that come with having children. But “Motherhood is not, at its heart, about doing. Motherhood is about being. Because motherhood isn’t just something you do; it’s who you are.”
Granted, these tasks are important—and time consuming. But perhaps if we separate the day-to-day chores that accompany (or are simply magnified by) the arrival children, we’ll be able to slowly begin to see motherhood in a positive light.
What do you think? Can we mentally separate the maintenance of our children (and our own) from the meaning of motherhood?
3 replies on “The work of motherhood”
I can’t right now – perhaps when they’re older – but right now, not so much.
I second Dawn.
I love that phrase “Motherhood is about being”.
There are times when I feel I have so much to do around the house that I don’t have time to BE. When I remember (and it is not often enough) I stop the doing, get down on the floor with my kids and just BE there with them. I need to remember that the housework will always be there (!), but this time with my kids is more precious.